Drunk Natty Dread

He approached me twice. The first time he asked me where the restroom is. I told him and he just stood at the counter. He then asked me something I didn't understand and proceeded to pull his California Identification and platinum visa out of his wallet and place them on the counter in front of me.

He asked me when the last spare the air day was. I told him that it was yesterday. He asked me what day that was. I told him it was Monday June 26th, yesterday. This whole transaction took forever because he was mumbling and I couldn't understand half of what he was saying. He decided that he wanted a print out of the spare the air days. Ifound some of the information, but not all. I simply wrote the dates on the paper and gave it to him. HE JUST STOOD THERE AND WOULDN'T MOVE. I FINALLY REMINDED HIM THAT HE SAID HE HAD TO USE THE RESTROOM. He asked for directions once again.

He returned. 5 minutes after he left. When I saw him walking toward me, I said, "If you don't have a real reference question, don't come over here because I don't want to be bothered with mess!" He said, " I do have a real reference question. Why did the tree fall in the white house lawn the other day?" I told him that I didn't know and he proceeded to tell me that I did. I finally said, " No, I don't and quit playing. I told you not to come over her with some mess." He says, "The tree fell because you can't have rain for days and not expect a tree to fall because the soil with give." I told him that isn't true because it doesn't always happen. Why didn't I just let him talk and not respond to anything? My dad has been dead for two years, so sometimes it slips my mind that a drunk is the last person you want to have a conversation with. No matter what, they have to have the last word and they are always right.

FINALLY, I just kept repeating myself. I was telling him to leave the reference desk because he didn't have any reference questions. THEN, he asked me to have dinner with him. (Why oh why must I receive attention from the WRONG type of man?) I told him "NO. " He proceeded to tell me that he is a nice guy. He asked me to check the balance on his new platinum visa card. I told him that he needed to do that for himself. He asked me again to go out with him, and I told him no. He then said, "On yeah, it's because my breath stinks." I told him no, "It's because I am not interested in you!" He still didn't leave. I kept telling him to leave and he finally did.

My co-worker had been on and off the telephone during this whole transaction. When it was finally over, he got off the telephone and asked me what that was all about. I told him that I had just been harrassed and he did nothing about it. He laughed. I didn't think anything was funny, and I told him so.

In the mandatory sexual harrassment workshop, they announced that there is nothing management can do about librarians who get harrassed by patrons. The only time something can be done is when it is the same patron all the time. THAT MADE ME MAD!!! I get harrassed almost every week and it is never the same person. Sometimes, the same person does it more than once but never in the same week.

"Dream Lady"

That's the nickname the librarian's on my floor have given her. She calls the reference desk at least 3-5 times per week and we are open 7 days a week. Today was my lucky day. I was the one to answer her call this morning. She began the conversation by saying," I want the definition of a word." I said, " Okay, what is the word?" She then said, "No, I don't want the definition of a word. I want to know what linens mean." Before I could ask, she clarified her queston. She said, "I want to know what a dream about linens means, bed linens that is."

I found the book and told her that it says a dream about linens means wealth and pleasure. She didn't seem as if she understood what I was saying. Her response was," That's all it says?" I told her yes, wealth means money and pleasure means you will have a good time or enjoy yourself.

*****I must give some background after sharing this incident. When I began working here two months ago, I was told about an elderly woman who calls all the time. They told me that she always wants to know the meaning of her dreams. I received this description/explaination, as I was being shown a shelf of books about dreams and zodiac signs located directly behind the reference desk. They said that she calls so often that they made a space for these books on the shelf.

For a whole month, I never answered the telephone when this woman called. I always wondered about a woman who supposedly dreams so much. My day came one Sunday afternoon. She called and low and behold, she didn't like my answer to the meaning of her dream. She then asked me to look it up in another book. I told her that I was looking in one more book and if she still didn't like what I found too bad. She said okay. I gave her the second answer, she then asked me if that was all that the book had on that particular situation. I told her yes,l and she hung up in my face.

I FAILED TO MENTION: THIS PARTICULAR WOMAN ONLY WANTS TO HEAR GOOD NEWS!!!!!

The other librarians in this department make up answers if what is written in the book is not good news. They have warned me that if you don't tell her anything good, she will keep you on the telephone until you do. I have told them about her hanging up in my face because I told her two books was my limit. **The red book has positive answers, usually*** Like I care!

A week after the hang-up incident, I was at the desk when she called. She asked me my name. I told her that we only give out our badge numbers as instructed by management. She then told me that I was lying because another librarian had given out her name. I informed her that it was a new policy. She said that she wanted my name because it was some woman who works here who doesn't like her and she doesn't know why. COULD IT BE THAT YOU SPEND YOUR DAYS THINKING OF WORDS TO CALL AND ASK US THEIR MEANING IN THE DREAM BOOKS????

This woman has said to me,"There are some dream books at the desk. You can look up what I dreamed about." Does she think our only reason for coming to work each day is to tell her words of encouragement?

I have told my co-workers that I will tell this woman whatever it says in the book, that's it, that's all!

Cubicles, oh how I hate them

I have been at this new location for two months now. The staff area has cubicles. People forget that they aren't at home when having private telephone conversations. These are professional people who are allowing their fellow co-workers to be a part of their drama.

1. Loudest of all has been sued for plagiarism and has until the end of this month to appeal. He
does realize his errors and for extremely private calls, he uses the department head's office.
(He closes the door, but you can still hear his as you walk by.) He sits two aisles away.

2. Next up. The woman who has gone through an ugly dissolving of a romatic relationship.
They finally sold the home they shared. There is now the problem of amicably parting ways
and possessions. They have enlisted a third party to act as a mediator. HOW DO I KNOW
????? I currently hear her conversation with the mediator regarding last nights incident.
I am sorry, I don't care to know anything about the personal lives of my co-workers. She sits
in the aisle next to my area.

3. The woman who sits behind me sounds as if she is trying to get the attention of someone who
is three blocks away when she is on the telephone. When her friend comes down to visit her,
if I am at my desk, I must go elsewhere.

4. The woman who sits in the cubicle on the other side of mine. I believe that she has finally
gotten the message. She rarely holds conversations when I am at my desk. This is also the
one who was talking about me to another co-worker as I sat a my desk.

5. The woman who sits behind woman #4. Not only are her conversations loud. She adds her
two cents to everyone else's conversations. She is calling her girlfriend all day long to check
on her and profess her love for her. Something must be wrong with me because I have
always hated corny sappy people/couples.

After two months, it is still hard for me to get adjusted to these LOUD conversations that surround me.

6 Days!! Yeah, I know.......

Time flies by. Sometimes it doesn't jump off until the end of the day. I can't blog while at the reference desk. Well, I did once. The incident was so good, I didn't want to give myself time to forget any details.

This Friday, June 23rd, there is an Open Mic/Poetry Slam Contest at my old job. My former co-worker who now works upstairs, asked me to go with her. I told her that I would think about it and get back to her. That was last month. I really don't want to go. I live in the same neighborhood where the library is located. I haven't even been on that side of the neighborhood since my last day at that job. I have no desire to see that side of the area.

It's not that I don't like my former co-workers. I do like them and enjoy talking to them. I have no desire to see the former patrons. I don't feel like answering a million and one questions regarding my whereabouts.

I must have offended someone in another life

There are two librarians sitting at the reference desk. Each patron that has approached me so far this hour, has bypassed the other librarian. She is not busy. There isn't a patron in front of her. She is simply surffing the internet. She isn't even working on a project.

The first guy says that he has a free Greyhound ticket for travel around the United States this month. He asked if copies of United States maps were given away at the reference desk. I told him no, but there are Rand McNally Road Atlases laying on the counter beside me. He glanced at the atlases and moved on.

Right after him, another patron approached me. This patron was actually waiting for the previous patron to finish his questioning. The second patron reaked of alcohol so bad, that if I lit a match we would all go up in flames. HIS REFERENCE QUESTION THREW ME FOR A HUGE LOOP!!!!

" I would like some books on alcholism. I would like to research alcoholism." It seemed to me that the patron had conducted all the research he needed first hand. I gave him three titles to search for.

He returned to the desk and told me that he wanted to check out the book he had in hand. I first, checked the status of the book to make sure that it wasn't a reference book. I then told the patron that he would have to check the book out downstairs. I had to repeat myself two times because he acted as if he didn't understand. THIS WAS MY PROBLEM WITH THAT REQUEST.
1. You can't check out books at this or any other reference desk in this building.
2. Once again, he bypassed my co-worker who is not doing ANYTHING AT ALL!

The first patron came back two more times, telling me about Yosemite and asking about some national monument in Wyoming. He had the Wyoming travel book in his hand, yet he continued to ask me about Devils Tower. All I wanted to say was, "DO I LOOK LIKE I WOULD TRAVEL TO WYOMING JUST FOR FUN?????"
It isn't even 11:00 a.m. and I am already fed up for the day. Hopefully, it will only get better.

That neon sign must have been real bright today!

I have a running joke with my friends, that I attract the worst. When in the club, you can usually spot me running away from the fugly drunks, those with gold teeth, process wearing, polyester leisure suit, or just got released from jail pen men.

Today was not any different. At work all of those and more always approach me with a reference question. As a children's librarian they came asking me to help them look for books that they new darn well were in the adult section. On to the story.......

I was helping an older homeless vanilla man search for books on Denmark. One was on the floor and the other was in the back. He was confussed because he had conducted the search himself, unsuccessfully. After giving him one of the books and sending him to the next location, he returned to the desk.

He made a point of explaining to me that he believes he is a direct desendent of Denmark royalty. He showed me two different pictures and asked me where he could make copies. I explained to him where the copy machines are located and sent him on his merry way. 5 minutes later, he returned to the desk whispering. He asked, "Is it okay if I give you a compliment?" I said sure, because I thought that he wanted to thank me for helping with his search. To my surprise, he whispered, "You are so pretty." I said thank you and he walked away.

My coleague, who is a Cocoa male, said "Why do you get the good ones?" He was teasing, but you know I didn't think it was funny. He also said he is so happy that I now work here. All of the "special" patrons flock to me and they no longer have to deal with them. Whomever is blessed to work the desk with me is in a position to watch the madness unfold. It is like a bee to honey. They wait in line to bother me. Some even come back later when they see that the desk is busy.

Now I want to vent about today.

The first hour that I was on the desk went well. The second hour that I was on the desk, I wasn't so lucky. After 15 minutes on the desk, the noise begins. It was a man, but he had acrylic nails(red,) bleached blond shoulder length hair, and he was yelling into his cellular telephone. You would think that his voice was soft from appearances, WRONG. He had this deep voice and he continued to yell. Some nice librarian created a slip of paper that explains where you can use a cellular telephone in the library. I handed that to him. He read it and kept yelling without missing a beat. When I looked at him like he had lost his mind, he covered his mouth with his hand. This didn't reduce the noise at all. I let him go on for 10 more minutes. I was giving him evil looks and he would lower his voice then raise it again. I finally got tired. I went over there and told him he had 2 choices. 1) Go to the designated area and talk, 2) Leave the library, or I would call security and have him escorted out of the building. He took his time, but he unplugged his charger and prepared to leave the building. He was still yelling into the telephone. I am sorry, I failed to mention that dude was charging his cellular telephone on the library's money and disobeying the rules.

Let's talk about people left in the 1980's

Why does it have to be. This post is a reflection of what happened Thursday morning June 8, 2006. I will say it again, why, oh why must we have those who remain in decades past? I was trying to help a brotha out with his attempt at internet access. Now you know he took it as me digging on him, NOT!!! After helping him for the second time, he asked me my name. I in turn, asked him why he needed to know it. He then asked if that was something we weren't allowed to do. To save his face and to reduce the amount of time I had to talk to him, I simply said yes. He went on to tell me that his name is "D." That was something he didn't need to share because he had a big fat gold "D" medallion hanging from a chain around his neck. Dude also had a salt 'n' pepper Jerri Curl afro.

Let's move on to TRASH in the library. When I left on Wednesday, I noticed a pile of trash on a table in the Teen Section. It was still there on Thursday when I passed it on my way to the reference desk. It was still there that afternoon. We have custodial staff all day long and even after hours. It wasn't that they had missed the floor, or even that section of the floor. They had cleaned around that area. One of my co-workers finally removed the remaining bag himself.

I would have posted this on Thursday, but blogger wasn't allowing me access.

I had been doing so well this week

AND THEN.......Patron: I um....need a book about people who take pictures. Me: You would like a book about photographers. Patron: NO!!!! People who take pictures and sell them, you know theeir name is printed somewhere on the photo. Me: Yes, you would like a book about photographers. Would you like a biography.

Patron: No, I don't want a biography. I want something that is annotated. Me: Okay, but photographers sell their photographs. Is there a particular book that you are looking for.

Patron: Yes, but it has to be about photographers. I conduct a search and print out the titles of two books. Patron I have already seen those books. Me: I asked you if there was a specific book that you were looking for. By now, my boss has gotten tired of the exchange and tells the patron to go upstairs where the books about photographers and photography are located.

The patron walks away and we are all now confussed.

When you can no longer relate, you need to quit!!!

This morning was a madhouse. We had our monthly visit from a group of teen rehab chicks. They were actually just being teens, acting up in the library. Eating, drinking, and talking waaay toooo loud!! There were three adults acompanying them. You know the adults acted as if they could see no evil, hear no evil. They had a scheduled visit with the teen librarian. That was okay, but they were all over the place.

There were two who felt they were too good to conduct an online catalog search themselves. They first approached the other librarian on duty. He took time with them and showed them how to search the online catalog, while actually doing the search for them. Well, after 10 minutes and numerous searches, he told them that they would have to do the searches on their own. They proceeded to walk the floor and act like they were searching for a book.

What they were actually doing was waiting for him to leave the desk so that they could approach me. They had grand plans for me to search the catalog for all of the other books they were looking for. I had news for them. After searching one library record to see if the books placed on hold had arrived, I took them to the online catalog. I began to explain to them how to conduct a search. The little he**as had the nerve to tell me, " Oh, we already know how to search the catalog. He just showed us." I told them that they needed to search the catalog.

I then had to continue telling groups that were sitting near each other that eating and drinking were not allowed in the library. One group was sitting behind me. I told them that if I heard them eating again, I would make them sit at a table in front of the reference desk. Not two minutes later, I had to tell another group. After that, they had the nerve to say loudly "Why does everyone have attitudes today?"

The third adult accompanying the teens approaches the area drinking a hot beverage. My time at the desk was almost up and I chose not to say anything.

After I left the reference desk, all he** broke loose amongst the librarians. It was mostly the supervisors. They had a problem with the teens being allowed to run wild in the library. See that is the problem with some of us. They think because the teens are in a program, they should get special treatment. They are in that program because they are bad. Just like the adults who sell, and use drugs who are given the choice of time or a rehab. program, the teens chose rehab. Not all of the girls were bad. Out of 15 girls, 5 were really causing problems. The problem is, the girls would rotate, but it was always 5 at one time acting up.

The supervisors had a meeting with the manager, and they all spoke with the teen librarian. The teen librarian then asked me if she could speak with me regarding the matter. Supposedly, someone called me the "B" word but I didn't hear it. They were all in an uproar. I just told her that she should insist that they feed the girls before they enter the library. That will eliminate the food problem. I also told her that I wasn't sure if I should approach her or the adults with the teens in regard to their behavior.

The teens thought I was mean, but little do they know, I was nice.