As I was walking toward the entrance this morning.......

One of the toothless regulars said, " BACK TO THE HAPPY HAPPY PLACE I SEE!" I said, " Oh yeah( in dull tone.)"

It's 12:55 p.m.

I was walking toward the reference desk. The librarian who I was replacing said as she was walking by, "They are all here today!"

I still held out some glimmer of hope that just maybe, she might be wrong. Surely they decided that the library wasn't the place to be. There's Farmer's Market today, couldn't they loiter there and beg for food.

No such luck, all were here.

At 4:10 p.m., while I was helping a patron search for some books, a man (Ken) stood in front of my face an demanded that I tell the people using the computer near him to SHUT UP!!! I told the man that I was helping a patron and I would go near him when I was done.

When I was done, I looked where he was and didn't hear or see anything unusual. About 4:20 p.m., the same man walked past me and said, "THE SAME PEOPLE ARE STILL TALKING LOUDLY, BUT I GUESS THAT I JUST WON'T USE A COMPUTER TODAY!!!"

As I was leaving the reference desk yesterday evening

I saw two pre-teens posing and taking camera phone shots........This was being done while they were awaiting their scheduled time on the computer.

Another odd thing that happened yesterday.

We have a regular who is obsessed with the Oxford English Dictionary. He calls as soon as we open and asks us to look up words and give him the etymology. They are never big or difficult words. We have learned to piece the words together and get an idea of what is bothering him that day, because he calls all day long. He also comes in daily to look the same words that he called us about up himself.

When he approached me yesterday, he said, " I have something different to ask you and it's not about OED." I said without even looking up from the computer, "That's because you've probably already looked up something and called for clarification!" He laughed, and went on to ask me, "I want to write a murderer, can you find the correspondence information for me?"

He didn't have a name, but the guy was featured on an episode of dat*line. I don't remember the name. I should have typed this yesterday. The guy and two or three others had murdered their math teacher when they were teenagers. I found the information, printed it out and gave it to him. He was so happy, it was weird.

I can't undestand this.....just why

Walking toward the entrance to the building this morning, I noticed one of the security guards posted near a tree. He was on his cell phone, he is always talking on his cell phone. Whenever I was past him and hear bits of the conversation, it seems as if it's an intimate conversation.

Now over the past month, I learned that his main squeeze works on my floor. I always wondered why he came up here to sit with her every morning. So get this, they live together, they work in the same building. The talking on the telephone constantly all day. He whispers, she talks loud enough for you to hear exactly what she is saying when walking past the aisle where she sits.

The is the same woman who stinks. Whenever I make the mistake of entering the bathroom after her, my first thought always is, "she should incorporate more water into her diet."

Back to what I can't understand......What is so important that you have to talk throughout the day on the telephone......Each and every break is spent together.

Last Thursday.......

Two men were speaking loudly, I approached them and asked that they lower their voices. This knee grow waved me off and told me that he was speaking in a low voice( I give folks 2 times to act up before I call security.)

I walked back to the reference desk and called for security to send someone to walk the floor. Meanwhile, the two men kept talking loudly. I finally saw a security guard on the floor and I approached the men again.

This time, dude who was speaking the loudest said, "THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY DON'T HAVE ANY POWER!" My response, "I guess you must really want to leave the building!" Dude then turns to me and says, "I AM LEAVING!!!"

I walked to the end of the table where they were sitting and waited for dude to leave. This knee grow walked pass me as close as he could without touching me and said while looking at my badge, "YOU DON'T EVEN WORK HERE!"

At that point, the security guard begain walking towards me. All I did was point to the individual who had been giving me problems.

The guard returned to the floor 5 minutes later to inform me that it was the same guy that he had told to lower his voice when he entered the building. They had words, and the guard ended up telling him, "If I have to tell you to lower your voice again, YOU WILL BE LEAVING THE BUILDING FOR THE DAY!" He said that when he entered the elevator, he asked dude what happpened. He said that dude told him, "She said that I was talking too loud." The guard said that he then told him, "You probably were, so you know that you have to leave." The guard then escorted him out of the building.

The patron's friend, who was sitting across from him during the entire time, then approached the desk and said, "I'm looking for my friend, did you see where he went?"

I told him that his friend had to leave the building. He proceeded to walk the floor, "looking for his friend."

I was dismissed by a patron today!

A elderly patron sat down at an internet computer near the reference desk. I kept hearring sh*t, followed by mumbling.
Finally, after 10 minutes of cursing and mumbling at the terminal; the man came to the desk and told me that he wanted another computer.
I asked him what was wrong? He told me that the compuer just wouldn't act right. He said that the internet window wouldn't open.
I went to his terminal and saw that the internet was working just fine. He had reduced the size of the window and opened the sidebar search option. I closed the sidebar, and enlarged the window.
I asked him where he was trying to go,and he told me his e-mail.
I was finally able to get the e-mail provider information out of him.
I typed the ya*oo in the bowser. I was trying to wait and make sure that the page loaded, but.....The old geezer sat down in front of the terminal and told me....."OKAY, YOU CAN GO NOW!!!"

When Librarians meet...

Last weekend, I attended the annual librarian's convention. It was held in Southern California and one of my friends invited me to meet her there and share her room.

The running joke all weekend was how easy it was to spot the librarians. Even if they weren't carrying the bright orange bag that was given to us upon registration.

The bulk of the women dress as if they shop from the Chic*s catalog. The ones who try to dress up, look like they have added granny pumps to a Dres* Bar* special edition suit. Let's not forget to include the younger librarians who think they can now be a part of the cool kids club. You might see a lot of tats, there may even be a few sleeves sprinkled in here and there. Amongst them will be those dressed in goth attire, skater gear, or the left over grunge look.

Where do I fit in, fortunately for me, none of the above. Upon inspection at the convention, I no longer get upset when a patron approaches me at the reference desk and asks me if I am a reference librarian.

I even met a woman this past weekend who said, " I am thankfuly that you don't resemble what is considered the norm for a librarian."

I return to work only to find.....

The support staff placed a moldy book on my desk for me to decide what to do with it. I would've taken a picture, but I was trying to get it off my desk as soon as possible.