You'd think that I worked on the third floor

A man approached the reference desk, after looking on both sides of the floor.

Patron: "Where's computer terminal #411?

Me: "On the 4th floor.

The patron once again looks on both sides of the reference desk.(All of the computers
have numbers in the 300's on a bright yellow sign with black numbers.)

Patron: "So, this isn't the 4th floor?

Me: No, it's one more floor up.

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A woman approached the reference desk and leaned in, as if to whisper.

Patron: " I was in the Art & Music Dept., where I found some books. I asked where
the restroom is, and I was told that it's on the 3rd floor. I now want
the stack of books that I left at the desk."

Me: (I had just arrived at the desk because of a shift change.) "The Art & Music
Dept., is on the 4th floor."

Patron: "Okay, but I still want the books that I left at the desk."

Me: "You were in the Art & Music Dept., where you found some books, and that is on
the 4th floor."

Patron: "Ooohhhh, I'm still on the 3rd floor, and I need to go back to the 4th
floor."

The patron then, turned and walked away.

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One of the pages who works on the 1st floor walked off the elevator with a truck load of books. He began walking toward the Teen Reference Desk, stopped, turned, looked at me, and said, "THIS IS THE 3rd floor?"Me: "You wanted it to be another floor?"

Page: "I was just on the 4th floor, so when I saw the Teen Desk, I wondered why it
was there."

He has worked here longer than me, so I don't know what was on his mind.

There were numerous patrons who approached me with a call number written on a piece of paper, looking confused. The book they were looking for, was located on the 4th floor. The bad thing was that it was noted on the slip of paper that the book could be found on the 4th floor.

There's an professional org. I bet you don't know about

A man called yesterday afternoon and asked me to get the telephone number for the American Cultur Association. He pronounced it cul-TUR.
Of course I found no such organization. I gave him the number for the Popular Culture/American Culture Association.
The fool called back and said, "I want the number for the Cultur Association. If you don't find it, just give me the number for Georg.ia State University, and they will know what I'm talking about."
I gave him the number for GSU and thought, "Yeah, good luck with that."

My two favorites right now

Last Monday, my coworker went to help a patron who complained about not being able to log onto an internet terminal.
My coworker returned to the desk and said, "The patron couldn't log onto the terminal because the ethernet cable had been unplugged. Another patron using a laptop had plugged the ethernet cable into it.". The laptop patron then asked my coworker what was the problem with him using the cable.

Today
A patron called and asked me to give him the toll free 1-800 number for the state of Washington board of tourism. I returned to the telephone, told the patron that I found the number. As I began, "1-800-544," the patron stopped me and asked, "Is this the toll free number?"