Not my typical rainy Monday

Today is the first day that I had to report a patron masturbating. It was brought to my attention by a wheelchair bound patron who was waiting to use the computer.

As I was walking past, on my way back to the staff area.

Patron: "Ew, just nasty."

I leaned in to hear what he was saying clearly because I thought that I didn't hear him clearly.


The patron whispered in my ear that the man at terminal 351 was masturbating. I glanced over and there he was. One hand inside his pants, just working away; while he used the other hand to maneuver the mouse.

Instead of heading to my desk in the back, I made a bee line for the reference desk, so that I could call security and report the incident. I waited five minutes for an officer to arrive.
I pointed out the offending patron.


THE PATRON HAD THE NERVE TO NOT ONLY DENY IT, BUT TO ASK WHO COMPLAINED. I overheard all of this while I was once again making an attempt to return to my desk in the staff area.

I told the patron that I had seen him with my own eyes. First, he said, " I was scratching myself."

I looked at him with a smirk on my face. He then said, " Don't you have work that you should be doing!"

The security officer simply made the patron get up so that he could be escorted out of the building.

Oxygen

Me: Did you need some help?

Patron: " Yeah, it's about oxygen! " [I look at him like go on...]



"You have children in the builing.............."[I began to look at him like he'd lost
something]


" It's probably easier for me to notice this........................"[I was still lost, wondering
what in the world he was
talking about]



"There's something that your management can buy................." [ I continued to look at
him in wonder]



And then, FIANALLY!!!!!!!

" The children, your building is depleting them of their oxygen. "


BACK TO REALITY/EARTH, since he obviously wasn't getting through to
me.

" Where is computer terminal number 379?"

I pointed him in the right direction with the quickness!!!!!!

My first false fire alarm

Sundays, this library closes at 5:00 p.m. Yesterday, at 4:07 p.m. the fire alarm starts to go off. I was in of all places, the restroom.

There's construction going on in th building, so sometimes the fire alarm goes off accidently. This was not the case. So by 4:12 p.m. we havd almost all of our floor cleared and my boss told me to exit the building.

I had just glanced at the evacuation instructions, to see what my assigned duty was. I failed to pay attention to what area the staff was supposed to meet in.

Why, oh why did I go to the front of the building? I still thought it might have been a false alarm and they would reopen the building immediately.

This is what I over heard:

Patron(who comes here everyday, stays all day, and wears the same thing,) " This is a waste of the tax payers money. That was probably a false alarm because they don't want us in there. This library is always waisting our tax payer dollars!"

He was periodically looking at me at he said all of that. After the last sentence, I couldn't hold it in any longer and began laughing.

The Patron then looked at me and said, " You are laughing, but I am serious and I know that the library is just waisting our tax payer money!"

I knew that if I stayed in that spot any longer, I would have said some things to hurt that man.
I was laughing because I was thinking that that man knows he doesn't pay taxes. If anything, he gets SSI and that is part of my tax dollars supporting him monthly.

In my effort not to enrage the patrons even more, I decided to move to the other side of the building.

Where is the paper shredder when you need it?

My first hour on the reference desk was spent listening to this woman tear notebook paper into shreds. I don't know how many notebooks she had, but it seemed as if the sound of paper tearing would never end.

My co-worker kept walking away from the desk and going back to the staff area, in hopes that she would be done when he returned.........Nope, she was still there each time, just shredding away.

We were afraid to give her a pair of scissors. The only type of scissors we are allowed to give patrons are child proof, but we still feared that she might harm herself or someone else.

Finally, with ten minutes left on the desk, she stopped.........................Walked to the desk and returned a pair of SCISSORS that one of the librarians must have given her the previous hour.

Sometimes I am left speechless

I was searching for a book this afternoon. While walking in the direction in which the book was shelved, I noticed something odd. I thought, no, I didn't see what I thought I saw. So, me being me, I looked again....


A patron was browsing the book truck while.................PICKING HIS NOSE!!!!!!!


In that moment, I made a mental note to myself to always use sanitizer after touching a book.