Ummm NO!

A patron asked me if we are open on January 1st. When I said, "No," the patron said, "Well I guess it's good that y'all get a day off."

At first, I thought I was being sensitive

My co-worker then confirmed what I believed to be true.

It began a few months ago, I don't know why he picked me, but he has. This old man wobbled to the desk and just stood in front of me. I was in the middle of helping a patron, so I walked away in order to help the patron retrieve a book. When I returned to the desk, the man was still standing in the same spot. My co-worker was sitting on the opposite end of the desk doing nothing.

I finally asked, "Did you need something?" He said, "YEAH, I NEED SOMETHING!" He didn't elaborate. My co-worker finally recovered from whatever fog she was in and said, "Oh, I'm sorry, can I help you?" She did this because I was still helping the first patron.

He has done other little things to me since, but I can't remember each one. What stands out the most in my mind is how he will just stand in front of me and stare when I'm at the reference desk.

Yesterday, he returned the reference desk copy of the K.ing J.ames version of the B.ible. After I returned his identification to him, he asked me, "Do you believe in J.esus?" I said, "Un huh." I was thinking, "Of course I do, that is what has kept me from telling you off!"

Back to today. This same man approached me at the reference desk and said, "THE WORD!" I asked, "Did you want the B.ible?" He said, "Same difference, B.ible, word, whatever." I then said, "If you want the B.ible, you need to ask for it by the correct name."

When he left, I told my co-worked that the patron is always messing with me. My co-worker said, "I noticed that, he has always approached me and asked for the K.ing J.ames B.ible. For whatever reason, he just doesn't like you."

I have now decided that if possilbe, I will just walk away from the desk whenever I see that patron wobbling toward me."

It's been raining and cold

Well, cold to us is anything below 50 degrees. It's been in the 40's. When it's raining and or cold, the library fills up. About 12;30p.m., it almost looked as if it was standing room only on the floor. And the smells, I wanted to turn around and return to the staff area.

Seen and heard at the reference desk:

I saw a man walk past and it seemed as if he was digging for gold with his
pinkie finger(in his nose.) What made this sight ultra scary is that he had
on a chef's jacket.

I helped a patron and then she said to me, " You are one of my favorite
librarians, because you shush people when they get noisy." I said, "Thank
you, I think."

Being unable to recognize that you're referring to yourself

Sunday afternoon, OED man approached the reference desk and began asking my co-worker to look up words and his new obsession of phrases.

I walked away from the desk to assist a patron in locating a book. Upon my return to the reference desk, my co-worker says to me, "OED said, if we created a new department, just for the crazy people, there wouldn't be any patrons in our department." I asked my co-worker, "Is he including himself in the proposed new department?"

Sometimes you just need to step away

This happened to one of my co-workers yesterday, and he said that I should write about it here.


One of our semi-regulars approached my co-worker at the reference desk and asked, "CAN YOU HELP ME FIND A BOOK THAT WILL TELL ME HOW TO MAKE MY BEST FRIEND TURN G.AY!"

My co-workers response, "YOU NEED TO JUST GO AWAY NOW!!!!" My co-worked then walked away from the reference desk and came into the staff area. He said that he just needed to take a moment away from the desk to just breath.

Background info on the patron:

For about 3 months, he rolled into the library on a very fancy motorized chair. He would just use the computers to type about 10 signs. He would then tape the signs to the back of his chair. He would do this everyday. I was curious, so one day, I read a portion of the signs. They said, "I am looking for my boyfriend. He helps me do everything." The signs went on to describe his boyfriend in detail.

One day he just stopped. From that point on, he had a laptop whenever he came into the library. I forgot to add that he was always very dirty, head to toe.

He hadn't been in here for quite a while, and then I noticed him again, last week. He is a little cleaner, hair cut, motorized chair gone. He now has an old school wheelchair.

I didn't know it was possible

Yesterday, I saw a patron maintain his pimp stroll while using a cane. He had a mean lean to the left. The cane was in the right hand. He also did a glide/shuffle.

Today, I have angered a co-worker. It wasn't my intention. She just assumed that I would feel sympathy for her and I don't. She has gotten away with not working the schedule that she agreed to when she was hired. This has gone on for more than 6 months. She complained to me because the management has informed her that she must return to her Sunday work schedule. Her whine, "I WON'T HAVE TWO DAYS OFF IN A ROW ANYMORE!"

My reply, "I didn't have 2 days in a row off for 5 years, and I was working 3 different jobs!"

No policy against it exists, so it is allowed

This is what my supervisor told me. We were at the reference desk together. I noticed out of the corner of my eye, a man at one of the teen computers, zip lock bag in hand. He had rolling papers in the other hand that he had just lined. As I observed him rolling the joi.nt, I mentioned it to my boss, and he said, "Since there isn't a policy against a patron rolling a joint, it is allowed!"

So I now know that it is okay for folks to sit in the open and roll joints inside the library.

True Crime readers scare me!!!!!!

A petite woman approached me at the reference desk. She specifically bypassed my co-worker to get to me. Her hair was disheveled, her skin was dirty, she had glasses with coke bottle lenses, they were dirty and lopsided.

She asked, "Do you have any books on KIL.LERS."

I looked at her oddly. She then said, "You know, like Scott Peters.on, or Charles Man.son."

I asked, "Do you want one about Scott, or Charles?"

She said, " I want a book about each of them."

As I was telling her what books were available, she said, "And do you have a book about SER.IAL KIL.LERS?"

I stopped typing and looked at her. She then said, "I'm studying them."

I took her to the section and pulled the books myself. She told me as I was walking away, "I'm just going to study the books in here." I said, "Uh huh," and kept walking.

When I returned to the desk, I relayed the interaction to my co-worker. He said, "Yeah, she's studying those books so she can learn how to be a ser.ial kill.er."

In my experience, giving a man a fish will only lead to

him asking you to cook it and plan the rest of the meal while you're at it.

Monday afternoon at 4:30 p.m(I was off the desk at 5 p.m.,) a man approached the desk and asked me for hospital statistics. I removed the American Hosp.ital Statisti.cs handbook off the shelf. I opened the book to the Californ.ia hospit.al statist.ics page. I showed the information to the man. He said, "Oh, I want hospital statistics for A.frica."

I searched to see if we might have a book in our collection with that information. We didn't, so I then searched the internet. I found some statistics for a children's hospital in S.outh Africa. I printed this and showed it to the man. He said, "I want statistics for hospitals in West Africa." I searched a bit more and didn't find anything and told the man so. He then said, "I want statistics on medical schools in Africa."

My search resulted in a list of medical schools in S.outh A.frica. I showed this to the man and he said, "I want to know the costs to build a school in Africa."

This time, I found information on a foundation that provides grants for the building of elementary schools in A.frica. I also found a proposal for the building of an elementary school in S.outh A.frica. The proposal also included the cost of building a dormatory. I gave all of this information to the man and he said, " I want to know the cost of building a medical school in W.est A.frica. My brother wants to build a medical school for the area where I am from. All of the funding will come from A.merica." By this time, I had given the man 25 minutes of my time. I told him that he needed to take the information that I gave him and do further research.

He then said, "What about salaries? I need to know how much it will cost to pay the instructors." I told him that he would have to look at the websites for medical schools in S.outh A.frica and see what they are offering as salary and then make an educated guess." He then realized that I was done with him and said, "Well I guess this will have to do."

Pleasantly Surprised

This morning, as I exited the staff area, I noticed a man sitting in front of a computer terminal with his hands raised.
This was such an unusual appearance. I looked at the scream while walking toward the staff elevator. The man was praying. He was watching an online ministry and he was praying with the minister.
My joy at seeing someone in one of the perv seats doing something positive was short lived.
The closer I got to the elevator, I was able to get a glimpse of the usual filth being watched online.

They got me.........I received a summons.......

The summons was for JURY DUTY! On Wednesday, the defense attorney dismissed me from jury duty.

Today, one of my co-workers informed me that Mr. Booty Shorts was able to slip past security because he was performing a "presto chango" in the restroom, once on his designated floor.

Animals in the library

I'm sure that everyone remembers the rule that says, Only Service Animals Are Allowed.
Well, I work for a "pu.nk" system. Everyone is allowed to bring their animal into the library. Security is supposed to ask if it's a "companion" animal, and the patron is supposed to show proof of such.

Management is so afraid of the possible lawsuits, so all animals are allowed to enter the building.

Yesterday, an elderly woman approached me at the reference desk and asked, "Are dogs allowed in the library?"

I told her, "They do allow them in here."

She then stated that the dog whom the owner had placed on a chair near her, was causing her to cough. Because of management, the only solution I could offer was to put her on another computer away from the animal.

Patrons/Computers@the Public Library

Thankfully, I left work @ 3:00 p.m. this past Thursday and I won't return until Wednesday November 12th.

A brother man approached me at the reference desk and said, "I reserved the computer for 2 o'clock, and it won't allow me to log-in."

I said, while looking at the time on my computer, "You need to wait....." He cut me off and said, "IT'S AFTER 2 p.m., AND THE COMPUTER WON'T LET ME LOG ON!"

I followed him to the computer terminal that he was complaining about. Low and behold, the internet was up and I told him, "All you need to do is click the start icon."

He sat down at the computer, turned to me and said, "It must have just been slow."

I turned and walked away, thinking,"Didn't I say that you needed to wait."

10 minutes later, brother man approached me again. He said, "I am trying to apply for a job online and it's saying that it doesn't recognize my address."

Once again, I followed him back to his terminal. He explained to me that he had just input his address and it's not being recognized. I looked at the screen, and saw that he had put too much information in line 1 of the address (He had typed his complete address in line 1 and continued to type everything else in the appropriate boxes.)

I told him to try removing the extra information from line 1. He did so. A message appeared. It said that he had already submitted an application and he couldn't submit another one until 11/16/2008.

I returned to the desk.

Another 5 minutes pass and brother man approached the desk again, but this time he goes over to my co-worker and whispers what happened each time he asked me for help. He told my co-worker that he didnt' understand why I didnt' stay over there and wait for him to finish. I had already told my co-worker what happened each time I went back there to help him.

My co-worker told the patron, "It isn't our job to assist you with whatever you are working on. We can help you if there is a problem with the computer, but we are supposed to be available for desk reference questions. One on one computer assistance is not something that librarians are allowed to do.

He then asks her if she will help him and says loudly, "I JUST DON'T WANT HER HELPING ME AGAIN." As they are walking toward the computer terminal, he said, "I am not computer illiterate!"

When my co-worker returned to the desk, she said, "He wanted to know why he couldn't access a web page. He didn't add .com in the address bar."

I told her, "Yet, he said that he wasn't computer illiterate!"

To possess both rudeness and laziness

I returned for the page desk and my co-worker was on the telephone. From what I could piece together, it was a reference call and she decided that the caller had been transferred to the wrong department.

My co-worker transferred the call(or so she thought,)turned to me and said, "The light is still blinking. Do you have someone on hold?" I told her no and continued to read the newspaper online.

She picked up the receiver and said, "WHO IS THIS?" She then began speaking to the person on the other line about the reference call and why the information desk staff should have more training.

Once she finished her conversation, she tells me, "That was the floor manager from upstairs. I have never met her, but she knew exactly who I was when I picked up the receiver. I can't recall ever even speaking with her on the telephone. How could she know me by voice?"

I looked at her, turned my head, and continued reading the online newspaper. If I had said all of the things running through my mind as possible answers, I would have hurt her feelings permanently.

1. There are three rude librarians in our department. 1 isn't here
today and the other has an accent.
2. You are known throughout the building for pointing out the flaws in
others, but never admiting yours.
3. A prime example is that you didn't successfully transfer that call.
Instead of admitting that you did something wrong, you said that the
patron must have hung up.

All prepared and everything

This week, I was prepared to capture those unbelievable moments with my miniature digital camera. I didn't see any of the outlandish folks.

I also found out that security banned the booty short shim from the last post.

Sights to behold

I am trying to devise a creative way in which I can capture the images that I see. There are days when I see some things that amaze me.

Wednesday before last, I saw a man walking the floor, he had on a burgundy men's t-shirt, a burgundy, pink, and brown ruffled skirt with a white lace trim. Rounding out his ensemble were pink tub socks and brown hiking boots. The highlight of my evening was the man standing next to the reference desk on the side that I was sitting, and posing. If I moved, he moved.

When my supervisor saw what was going on, he told me, "Consider yourself blessed!"

This past Thursday, I got to see what I had only heard about. A man in a woman's spaghetti strapped spandex tank top, and denim booty shorts. They looked as if he had cut them himself. His butt cheeks were exposed. The last time that he was on our floor in that attire, a supervisor approached him and told him that he was dressed inappropriately. He told the supervisor to, stay out of his business.

Do they really?

This past Sunday 20 minutes before closing, a woman aproached me at the ref desk.
She was complaining that there was a man in the L.G. Center (where she was reading) talking kind of loud to himself and just acting strange. The kicker...

She said,"I realize some people come here and stay all day everyday, because they need someplace to go. There were other people in there, but they left because of that guy."

I looked at the clock and thanked her for telling me. By the time she finished, it was 15 minutes before closing. I told her that we are quite familiar with the guy, and so is security.

Because of the time, I knew that calling security would be a waste of time. I also knew that the guy would be leaving the building within 5 minutes.

What all of the staff knows about the man who"lives" in the center is that.....
1.He thinks that the center is
only for his use.
2.He makes funny noises and
talks to himself in the hope
that he will cause others to
leave the center.
3.Security makes him leave all
of the time.
What I know about the woman who complained is that she comes here everyday and stays all day!

Incompatible activities

We the employees of this great institution have to sign an agreement that we have read this new revised policy that goes into effect Monday October 6, 2008. It basically says that we cannot use the department computers for anything that isn't work related.

My post may be even fewer and far in between. I don't feel like posting in the morning and by the time I get home in the evening, I am not thinking about the computer. I sit in front of a computer all day long, so I rarely use the one at home. I guess this new policy means that I will have to make the effort from now on.

Seen today at 4:20 p.m.

An elderly man with earplugs in both ears, yelling questions to me. As he walked away, my co-worker asked, "Why does he have plugs in his ears, if he wants to speak with others and ask questions?" I told her that I had no clue.

The man returned again, because he obviously didn't hear me clearly. He wanted to add money to his copy card. Instead of inserting his card and then adding the money, he simply put money in the machine. He kept asking me what the problem was. As first, I thought the card wasn't working because he didn't have enough money. He assured me that he added the correct amount of money to his card. I walked over to the copy machine and saw that he had in fact put the correct amount of money in the machine, but since he never put his copy card in, the money was still in the machine.

I removed the money, then inserted the copy card and added the money to the card.

When I returned to the desk, my coworker was shaking her head and laughing.

Typical telephone reference calls

"Hello, I graduated from college, can you tell me how many units I have?". My co-worker was stunned into silence for a few seconds.

"Yeah, I have a press release and I want to know if someone can tell me whether or not I should use one of the sentences."

"Is noseless a word?" I gave the answer. 2nd question..
" How do you spell Florence Night.engale's last name because it's not spelled like the bird.--This patron always calls with these crossword like questions.

"Why do I have to go into the library to read a reference book? Why can't you just look up what I need and read me the answers over the telephone.

There is always a telephone reference that annoys us.