Thursday, December 27, 2007

Why do folks have the nerve to challenge when they are way wrong?

My first hour on the desk and it's lunch time. This man exits the bank of elevations with a B.K. special in hand(it's across the street.) He stopped at the wi-fi table and spoke with a man on a laptop while chewing. He hands over a B.K. bag, still chomping down. I walked over to him and told him that eating isn't allowed in the library. This is what he said......."Well, can I finish my burger???"

I told the patron that he needed to go outside to finish his burger.

Dude proceeded to sit down at the laptop. He initially placed the burger in his backpack. When he was sure that I wasn't paying attention, he slipped a large portion into his mouth.

At first, I was going to call security. I changed my mind and walked over to inform him that if I caught him again, I was calling security so that he could be escorted out of the building.

Dude said, "I'M NOT EVEN EATING!!!"
The second burger was on the table next to him, so he held it up for me to
I said, " I saw you place the burger in your mouth."

He let out a loud sigh. I just walked away.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Monday December 24th, 4:55 p.m.

A patron approached the desk and asked..............WHAT TIME DOES THE LIBRARY OPEN
My co-worker and I both answered, "We are closed tomorrow!" Like almost every other place, there were signs posted at all around in all languages.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Reason #1

Yesterday afternoon, I was at the reference desk with the floor manager. A woman approached the floor manager and asked him if he had seen her daughter. This is what I heard before I tuned the conversation out..........

Parton, "I dropped my daughter off because I had a meeting and told her that I would pick her
up in two hours, she is 14. In the meantime, I lost my cellular telephone and I
have been calling her from pay telephones. She hasn't answered any of the times
that I tried to reach her."

I tuned them out because I had too many comments.....

1. She is 14, she could have stayed at home.

2. What makes you think that she is still at the library if you said that you
would pick her up in two hours. You didn't walk her in here and show her
where you wanted her to wait, how do you know that she even came in here?

3. She probably isn't answering the calls from the pay telephone because she
doesn't answer calls from telephone numbers that she doesn't recognize.

4. Did you leave her a voicemail message telling her that you were trying to
locate her?
Needless to say, the patron left the library after speaking with the floor manager. All he told her to do was look in the teen center.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Public Service Announcement

This is my personal opinion. I repeat, this is my own personal opinion.

During Winter Break, Spring Break, Summer Break, or any time that a parent or care giver is unable to watch a child or provide care, PLEASE DON'T THINK THAT IT'S OKAY TO LEAVE THAT CHILD UNATTENDED AT A PUBLIC LIBRARY!!!!!

If you are dropping the child/children off to attend a particular event at the library, please make sure that they are safely inside. Make sure that you are able to pick-up your child/children after the event is over.

I don't reccommend leaving children unattended at any point in the library. The job description for a librarian doesn't require them to watch children (even children's librarians.) We are required to help children search for materials that can be checked out from the library, used as reference, or information that can be found on our databases. We can give you the basics for obtaining information on the internet and we are supposed to explain the risks of using sources from the internet.

Can you tell that Winter Break has begun in my area????

Monday, December 17, 2007

Sundays are so special

Yesterday, I did it to myself.

There is one particular homeless man who likes to frequent our floor. Most times, he disturbes the other patrons and must be escorted out of the library.

Yesterday, he walked onto the floor talking loudly. He was so loud that when he approached a bank of internet computers, all that were using them turned around to stare at him. He noticed them looking at him and got real quiet( I guess he had flashbacks of being asked to leave.)

He found a table and I thought that he would be calm for the rest of the afternoon. No!!!! He approached the desk and began asking the floor manager questions. I was thinking everything would be fine, as long as he left me alone.

About 1/2 hour later, I saw him approaching the desk while I was alone helping a patron. I mumbled, "Aw man!! Here he comes again."

The patron I was helping began laughing as she asked me, "Is he talking to his friends that we can't see?"

I told her that he was. To our surprise, he stopped right beside us and just stared. He then looks me in the face and asks, "AND, how are you doing today?" I answered, and he walked away.

Each time I was on the desk after that, he would stop in front of me and stare for a while. After staring, he would ask, "And, how are you today?"

I guess he wanted me to know that he knew he was irritating me.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Yesterday afternoon........

A woman approached the reference desk. She wanted to know about citing works. She was asking what the different approaches to citation are, what are the most popular methods, and things of that nature.

After showing her quite a few books, she said to me, "You have the greatest job in the world!"

My response, "Some days, it can be."

Patron: "What do you mean? The patrons have to be nice to you because you have so much knowledge about books and where to find information about whatever they are looking for."

My response, " No, not necessarily. They aren't nice most of the time."

Patron, "What do you mean? Why wouldn't they be nice to the librarians?"

In my mind, I was thinking where do I begin? It would take a long time to explain the whys of a patron's behavior.

I said, "There are days when we are cursed, yelled at, argued with, just too many things to name."

Monday, December 03, 2007

I got a propossal yesterday

This guy came to the desk in need of help on the computer. He wanted to know how to print the page that he was viewing. I explained the print process to him and returned to the desk.

Man.......He came to the desk again. This time,.......he wanted to know how to add money to his library card. I explained what he needed to do. He then asked me to walk him through the process. I get up to go show him what he needed to do. He stops me and says, " I left my bag and everything at the computer, I can't leave."

I was tired of the back and forth, so I said, " Come back when your computer time is up and I will tell you what to do so that you can retrieve your print job."

50 minutes passes, and dude returned to the desk. I explained the process once again. He then says, "Can't you just go over there with me and walk me through the process? I'm sure it's probaby easy, but please help a brotha out?"

We get to the copy machine and he says, "You know that I am Special Ed."

He finally has money on his card and is at the print station. He turns to me at the desk, " Can you come over here and tell me what I have to do again?"

So I walked over there with a look that said, "Now What???" He looked at me and said, " So, when do you want to get married because I need someone like you?"

I didn't look at him, nor did I say anything. I guess he took that as encouragement, because he asked me again. I turned around and returned to the desk without acknowledging what he had said.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Heard at the reference desk

Yesterday afternoon, five minutes into my one hour desk duty, one of the custodians stepped to me.

He said, "So, I guess Satin let his people free today!"


Tuesday, November 20, 2007

You never know what the other is thinking

Sunday afternoon, my boss and I are sitting at the reference desk. He closed the window that he had open in frustration.

I asked him what was wrong. He said, "I'm tired of librarians trying to be cool by having blogs!"

*insert weird look*

I then say, "I have a blog."

His response, "Uh oh, it isn't another blog all about us is it?"

Me, "Not really."

Thankfully, a patron approached the desk and deaded that conversation.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

My day started out with a bang

My first hour on the reference desk. This man runs over to the desk and yells for me to call security.

A woman had parked herself in front of his computer and proceeded to use. She refused to get up and he wanted her gone immediately(this was on the opposite side of the floor from me.)

When the librarian who was working the desk with me arrived, the same patron yelled that she should call security again because they were taking too long( not two minutes had passed.)

He returned to the desk two more times yelling and screeming that if security didn't hurry up, he was going to remove the woman himself.

In the mean time, the woman was yelling and screeming at him to come over and move her.

2 1/2 minutes and security had arrived three deep. The female patron began talking even more mess, she called them "toy" cops and said they weren't going to do anything to her because they couldn't send her to jail. She taunted them saying,"It's taking three of you to secure one of me."
"Ain't nobody going to do anything to me. All they did the other day was send me to the hospital!"

She called the two female security guards "n's", "black b**ches," and told them not to touch her. In my opinion, that was just the kettle calling the pot black.

By this time, the police sargent had arrived and the patron had quieted. She was still fighting.

There was a group of male and female teenagers from job corps and I heard one of them yell, "MAN, this is better than COPS!"

Sunday, November 11, 2007

And I asked the chic, not once but twice

The story goes like this.............This past Wednesday, I asked a co-worker known for calling in sick..........(just because she has accumulated enough sick leave,) if she would be at work today. Sundays are difficult days for reference desk coverage.

So, she called in sick. That wouldn't be bad except, she left work early last Sunday. Then, she called in sick last Monday.

It would have been easier if we had known in advance that she wasn't going to be here. I asked her becuase tomorrow is a holiday for us. It has been my experience that those prone to call in sick almost always do so the work day before a holiday.

I'll just wait and see if they talk to her about this. What she didn't count on was that today is the day that our floor manager was scheduled to work.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Sometimes, I think patrons ask questions for shock value

Patron: Can you direct me to a section?

Me: Hopefully.

Patron: Where are the sex books?

Me: I believe that they are on the next floor up, in the 600's but I will get a title for you.

Patron: I don't mean fiction!

Me: I know, you would like a manual; something like K*rma S*tra

Patron: Yeah. You know I feel like libraries are where knowledge is.

(I continued to search the catalog with the same response that I give everyone)

As I was waiting for the printout, the patron stated,"You know I feel powerful in a green
leather jacket[as he tugged on the lapel of said jacket.]"

Friday, November 02, 2007

Guess what????

One of my coworkers actually had foot surgery while I was on leave. (November 1st was my first day back at work.) She now has a cane and uses a wheelchair at her desk. I guess she showed me!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Blogger problems and new posts

For two weeks straight, each time I tried to log onto blogger so that I could create new posts, I was stuck at the login page. I kept telling myself that I would try from home, but you know how that can go. Since I am at home for a while, I decided to try blogger from home. Well, I can create post, but not much else.

I had no idea that people did this

Last Monday, October 15th, a man and a woman approached the reference desk. They looked to be no more than 19 years of age. They debated who would ask the question. The female finally said, " My job said for me to come to the library and get a book that will tell me how to talk to people, can you help me?" I was shocked, but I proceeded to search the catalog. I am sure that the expression on my face showed what I was thinking because the woman then asked me, "Do you think that you can find something like that in the library?" I told her that I am sure I could find some work etiquette books. I found two books and then the female patron dropped the bomb, "We need two books each." So I returned to the online catalog and continued the search. I finally found something that was about dealing with a$$holes in the workplace. They were so happy, they asked for that call number and they were off in search of the book.

I hate copycats

I am having trouble with blogger today, but at least I am able to post. I'll give you the background first. I had been having problems with my knee, the P.A. gave me a cane because she said I was at risk for a fracture. Now, with that said, on to the incident. I went to work on Tuesday October 9th and everyone one was as normal as they usuallly are. I missed work Wednesday October 10th because of a medical appointment. When I returned to work on Thursday October 11th, the woman who had been making snide remarks regarding my use of a cane, arrived at work with what? A cane. The other hypochondriac on our floor also had a cane. The first thing that I asked my boss is, "Can't I have anything by myself?" His response, "NO."

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Security in the building

My first hour on the reference desk this morning; the head of security was making the rounds, introducing the new hire. Only, he's not so new to working for this City & County. His prior post from which I recognized him, was working the door at the downtown police precinct.

Why did dude circle back without his boss and ask me the same tired line that he would ask each and everytime that I saw him when I went to jury duty, get my car out of impound, file a hit & run report, you name it. "Did you go to high school in the city?" I had to stop the madness!!!

My response, " You ask me that each and every time that you see me! YES, I did, I.C.A."

That usually shuts him down because it is an all girls catholic high school. And no, I didn't go to school with him, nor did he do security at my high school.

This fool had the nerve to say, "Well, if you already knew me, why didn't you ask how I have been when my boss introduced us?"

He kept talking, but I said, " Nope, Umph, Umph, not." [ala NewNew] I didn't even hear the rest of whatever he was saying because I had tuned him out.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Today's adventures

I had the luxury of a four day weekend. Well, we all know that you find little surprises after being gone for a while.

We have e-mail suggestions and e-mail reference questions. Lucky for me, the floor manager is the person who assigns the items.

The first question I received, the guy asks if he can get a list of all of the poetry books purchased by the library this year. Our fiscal year is from July 1st until June 30th of the following year. We purchase books every month. For me to answer this question, I had to review all books purchased for the last fiscal year and the first three months of this one. Each month, we make two list, one of new books and one of replacement books. I spent two hours cutting and pasting the poetry titles from all list.

That was a behind the scenes question.

The desk question:

Caller: I am trying to locate information for an actor.

Me: Did you try searching the IMBD website?

Caller: That really doesn't give any information.

Me: What's the actor's name?

Caller: Well, it's a relative of mine and I'm nosey, so I just want to know what is available.

Me: What's the actor's name?

Caller: I called your library because I figured you are located in a liberal city and the librarians
wouldn't judge.
Me: What's the actor's name? I am only asking so that I can conduct a search to see what I can
Caller: Well, its an um, um, an adult film star. I actually live in the midwest and I use my local
library all of the time, but they wouldn't search anything like this.

Me: OOOkay, so what's the name? [He was still trying to tell me how much they judge people
at his local library] I was thinking that they probably just look at him sideways.

Caller: Donita Dunes. She's a distant cousin and my sister calls me to tell me the family gossip.
I just want to know what is out there about her.
Well, I did a g***le search and found her website. I closed the website before it finished loading because of the racy pictures. I told the caller this.

Caller: I just want her contact information. You know, her agent, or her publist.

I tried a specific search for the contact information and was able to get the website address for the booking agency. I told the caller and he hung up the telephone so fast.

He lost me for a minute

Last Monday, September 17th, I was helping a patron who seemed to have suffered a stroke. He seemed to be paralyzed on one side of his body and had difficulty speaking. He also used a walker.
I was finally able to piece together that he wanted to use one of the internet computers. I found a vacant one in the back. I chose one near the exit aisles because I thought that would be easier for him.

About 12 minutes later, he approached the desk again. This time, he was complaining that he wasn't able to log onto the computer and for me to,"Juuus commme!" I went back there and he was trying to log onto a different computer, and he was still logged onto the first computer. I tried to explain this to him a few times. Well, he kept telling me,"NO." Finally, I simply logged him off myself and told him that after a few seconds, he should be able to log onto whichever terminal he wanted.

Ten more minutes passed and he was back at the reference desk again. He said, "Man wwwith bbbaaaagg STINKS, IIIII mmmmovvveee." I simply said okay. I finally ended up booking him a computer for the next hour on a different floor. This was after thirty minutes of back and forth.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Same stuff every single day

We've been experiencing the same complaints on a daily basis for the past three weeks. You see, the library is still in the process of renovation on the first floor.

The renovation process has moved into the second phase. This means that the new fiction stacks are gone. The new DVD stacks are gone. The express internet computers are gone.

Now, the new books are mixed in with the older works of fiction. The problems occur when we (the staff) are trying to explain the changes to the patrons. Because the bank of express computers had to be removed, there are now more express computers on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th floors.

Often, patrons walk away while I am in the middle of explaining the new changes. Others yell, " NOW, Whose BRIGHT IDEA was this, because it surely isn't working."

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Out of the mouths of librarians

Staff meeting: While waiting for the meeting to begin, somehow the conversation turned to how
expensive hair cuts are.

Pt. Librarian, "Well, I cut my own hair and I guess that I've saved hundreds of
dollars over time." [we now know why she rocks a bad high top
fade with a duck tail]

Monthly services meeting: I was showing a fellow librarian a delightful find, Band Aid's Blister
Block. She commented that she has a hard time finding wide shoes.

Another librarian blurted, "That's why I shop at Pay*ess, they have
wide shoes in all kinds of styles."

The conversation paused......then we changed the subject.

This morning, my first hour on the reference desk. My co-worker annouces as she approached the desk, "I'm still HIGH from yesterday!" [She called in sick yesterday, saying that she was going to the emergency room to receive a morphine shot for her migraine.]

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

So this is how it ends today

It is my last hour on the reference desk and I have spent it listening to a patron read the World Atlas out loud. I have wanted to say something, but I realize that may be the only way that he is able to read.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Man..............these people

So, I am sitting at the reference desk minding my own business, reading somebody's blog.

A patron marched up to the desk, threw a book at me and said,"I HOPE THIS LIBRARY HAS A CHRISTIANS FOR DUMMIES book, or a PROTESTANT FOR DUMMIES book, because just having an ISLAM FOR DUMMIES book isn't right.

I respond,"I'm sure we do sir, would you like for me to check?"


So as I began to search the online catalog, the fool stormed off.

Yesterday afternoon, this woman yelled at me because HER book wasn't on the shelf. As if I personally walked over and removed her book form the shelf, just so she wouldn't have the pleasure of walking in here and seeing her work on the shelf.

I went through the trouble of searching high and low for that book. I finally found in on a book truck in the back, waiting to be reshelved. I took the book to her and handed it to her. The witch had the nerve to tell me, " I didn't want the book, I just wanted to make sure that it was here! Why are you giving it to me, do you want me to reshelve it?"

She went on to say that when she came in the day before, they told her it was missing. She said that she located the book on the shelf and removed it, so that she could show them( the page desk staff) that it was still in the library. Hence the reason why the book was sitting on a book truck in the back waiting to be reshelved.

That is the point where my supervisor took over. He told the patron that she was wrong for yelling at me and it would not be tolerated.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Random stories for today

This morning, in the span of 10 minutes I was told this by two different patrons.

1. African American female in her late forties: " Sharon and Bob stole my credit card information from one of the branch libraries and were buying sex with it. You know you can't buy sex in Antioch"

I couldn't respond, I was laughing so hard.

2. Anglo male was having trouble booking a computer at one of the branch libraries. I told him
log out of his record and I would help him book a computer at the reference desk. As I am
helping him, he said, " All of the staff at the branch library are CRAZY!" This was right after
he told me that while he was speaking to some police officers, they told him he was crazy
because his face was swollen.

I turned to my co-worker and asked him, "What is it that I am doing because they just keep
approaching me?"

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Cravings can sometimes get the best of us

This afternoon, I felt the urge for a piece of chocolate. I was too lazy to ride the public transportation so that I could get See's Candy, Godiva, or Tom's Cookies. I decided to walk to Walgreen's and kill two birds with one stone, pick up a gallon of water and some chocolate.

As I was walking toward the corner, I noticed men dressed in black leather. I forgot the Folsem Street Fair is this weekend. Well, I received an eye full. Leather vest, chaps, and g-string. Just what I needed for an afternoon wake-up call. I was so upset with myself because had I remembered what this weekend is, I would have stayed inside. I now know why parking was kind of tight this morning.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

My July end notes for this week

Today will mark the second loss for my department. Two weeks ago one of the four supervisors retired. Today, the supervisor who just came back from Medical Leave is retiring. No announcement, no group e-mail, no cake, cookies, or juice. I don't even think he will get a formal goodbye.

On to my reference desk story.

I caught the usual juvenile suspects trying to hack into the system via the online catalog and database terminals.

Next up

Ghetto Love, they parked themselves at the online catalog next to the reference desk. I wouldn't have noticed, but they began fighting over some red juice. I informed them that the drink wasn't allowed in the library.

Ol' chicky decided that she wanted to get smart. "I'm pregnant, so I need this and proceeds to pop the top and chug."

My reply whispered in her ear because I didn't want to put her on blast, " Then you need to go to the lower level to the restaurant and have that drink!"

Not fifteen minutes later.

I hear Ghetto Love arguing with an anglo patron who had asked them to lower their voices. They went on and on, telling him where and how he could stick it. I sensed that he was heading to the reference desk to request back-up because they were LOUD.

I called security. Why is it that they came two deep. When we really need security because things are looking dangerous, they send one lone ragged guard.

Security's response, " They are on the catalogs and they are arguing????" I relayed the incident to them. They spoke to Ghetto Love, who returned to their post at the catalog afterward. Soon afterward, the anglo departed.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Here we go folks my library stab at the tag

Minoority Reporter didn't really tag me, but she listed my blog as one of the ones that she reads. So in honor of her, I am going to take a stab at answering this tag. My twist will be that I will try to apply my answers to the library.

The Rules

1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of you blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

Here we go: 8 Things you don't know about me.

1. I made my decision to obtain a Masters in Library Science during my first day of on the job
training for the Department of Human Services Non-Assistance Food Stamp Eligibility Worker.

2. I received my MLS in 1998 from Clark Atlanta University.

3. I worked part-time as a librarian for 5 years before finally taking a full-time gig.

4. This blog was started as a way to vent. Working as a Children's librarian is no joke.

5. I work with a lot of bitter, selfish librarians! ( I had a friend say that she thought all
librarians were giving and helpful---NOT)

6. I chose to become a librarian because I found myself always talking to random people
about books and what they should read (I am always reading for pleasure and nosy people
are always asking me about what I am reading)

7. Some days, I don't want to be bothered with most of my co-workers.

8. I am constantly looking for another job.

Half of the people I wanted to tag have already been hit.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Can you imagine work without the access to a computer? That is what my days now consist of. During the time that I am on the reference desk, I have access to a computer. All that behind the scenes actual work and internet surfing, that is a thing of the past, at least for the next two weeks.

30 people are supposed to share four terminals. They forgot to factor in the hogs. The staff members who think the computers are there for them and only them.

Monday, July 09, 2007

People don't listen

I hate when you take the time to explain to someone exactly what they need to do. They then come back to you, saying there is a problem. You go over with them what they needed to do and they turn around and tell you that you didn't tell them that is what they needed to do.

When I turned around and explained exactly what I said word for word, chic go an attitude. She couldn't say that I was wrong, so she told me that my breath stank. I just had two altoids, so I knew that she was lying.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Medical Leave

A supervisor in my department returned to work yesterday, after 1 month of medical leave. Somehow, he now has a new work schedule that begins at noon. When the said supervisor arrived at work and saw that he was scheduled to work the reference desk for three hours, he had a fit. He called the head of the library and proclaimed that he was not supposed to work the reference desk.

Meanwhile, this department has been stressed during his one month leave because we are also short two additional positions.

So as a result of his rant, the five of us who were here, were forced to work an extra hour on the reference desk.

Yesterday the head of our department was out sick. Today, the big boss is here and ol' boy is as quiet as a mouse.

I left work frustrated. We had behind the scenes mess, in addition to the regular drama we get from the patrons.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

I understand workplace violence

I really, really do.

Patron via telephone: "Yeah, I want to know how to pronounce a word.
I put the patron on hold and looked it up in the Oxford English Dictionary, it wasn't there. I looked in the online database, it wasn't there. I searched, it wasn't there. did refer me to their encyclopedia.

I told the patron that I didn't find it in any of the dictionary.

The patron said, "You can't find it on the internet?"

I looked at the online encyclopedia. So I tell the patron what I think the pronunciation is. He proceeds to tell me exactly what the encyclopedia entry says and then wants to debate my interpretation. I gave the call to my co-worker(who ended up siding with me.)


Monday, June 25, 2007

My funny story for the day

I don't know about you, but I hate when I return to work after a few days off and find something on my desk.

When it's mail, I think, "Now what did they send now!" Because most of the time the branches
will send a book or books that they want to discard. They don't want it in their collection anymore, but feel that it is needed here.

I also receive stacks of books that the clerk has been stock piling on her desk. She waits for my off days to deposit the books on my desk. I guess she is afraid that I will complain. I would prefer that she give me the books as they are given to her, but I think it is a little too late to change habits. I get the books that fall in my selection area that have been damaged in some way.

Today's mail waiting for me: A galley copy of America Needs A Woman President by Brett Bevell. I am used to seeing a bound galley copy. This copy is loose pages held together by a paperclip. They have also advised that the book is available for pre-order on

Brett Bevell sent the copy himself, why am I not surprised!!!!!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Of all days, I fail to wear the "ring."

I have a QVC Diamonique and Yellow Gold Wedding Set that I wear while at work. The need for this arose when I first began my career as a librarian. In the community college libraries, young men from 18-32 would make passes, ask me out, etc.

I began wearing a 2 carat engagement ring. When I began working full-time in the public library, I purchased the wedding set. It is a 3 carat solitare with a 1/2 carat of surrounding bagets, and a 1 carat band.

I forgot to wear it ALL DAY today. No problems, until the last hour on the desk. A man who has made passes in the past decided to try a full court press today. He was drunk and you know alcohol brings out the truth, courage, or whatever you want to call it.

He says, "You're married huh!!"

Me, "Yes."

Him, "You lie, where's your ring."

Me, "I left it in the back."

Him, "Tell your husband that I said he is a lucky man, so he won't get mad at me for making a
pass at you."

Me, " I will, as soon as I return to my desk."

Him, "I am really attracted to you because you are real. You are the type of woman that I need. You know I have money."

Me, " What did you do today?"

He continued to tell me how much he is attracted to me. Finally, I tell him, "You still haven't
answered the question that I asked you."

Him, "What did you ask me?"

So, I asked him again.

He says, " I have been drinking."

I respond, " I know."

He asks, "How did you know?"

I tell him, " I can smell it on your breath."

Him, "That is embarrassing."

Yeah, I know...............................

It's day two of the computer shut down on one half of the floor. There are signs posted on every terminal, both internet and online catalog. The signs say that there will be a telephone and computer connection upgrade and this computer is not in service at this time.

It in addition to that sign posted on each and every terminal that isn't in service, there is a sign written in red posted at the reference desk. The sign says the following:

For all internet and online catalog use, please go to the
International side of this floor. You may also go to the
4th or 5th floors.

I was at that desk for two hours yesterday. I watched patrons read the signs and approach me to ask, " So, is there an internet computer on this side of the room that I can use?"

Today's FUNNY: I watched a man with an Orange shirt and jeans exit the elevator and read the signs. His blue jeans were made into flare legs because orange and yellow striped triangles had been inserted into the lower portion of each leg.

There is a display of work done by an openly gay artist on display in front of the reference desk. The man described above saunters over to the display, reads it, and states to no one in particular, " Is this a GAY THING? Why is EVERYTHING gay up in here?"

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Library excitement

My first hour at the reference desk. 1/2 hour into the shift. One of the pages runs to the reference desk and tells us to call security. A man was standing at the copy machine destroying books, not 1,2, or 3, but he had a stack of about 30-35 and he was riping them apart.

My co-worker went over there because I had just answered a telephone call. He yelled, " Call the police because I want to go to jail. I want to go back to rehab."

When the security officer arrived, the man yelled, "ARE YOU GOING TO CALL THE REAL POLICE NOW?"

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Dude told me that I couldn't make him leave

The patron told me," You can't tell me to leave, only security can tell me to leave."

At that point, I realized the man is ignorant and I wasn't going to bother explaining the rules and regulations of the library to him.

1. Any staff member can request that a patron leave if they are violating the rules and regulations. If they fail to leave, we are then required to call security and have them escorted out of the building.

It all started when I tried to explain to the patron why he couldn't use the terminal he had selected. Someone prior to him had logged onto the computer and left for whatever reasons. Another patron came along and put the terminal on standby. This means that for ten minutes, the only person allowed to log onto the computer is the one who signed on initially.

Dude proceeded to argue me down. When I returned to the reference desk, HE SHUT THE COMPUTER DOWN. So what he was doing is saying F**k you, I am doing what I want.

At that point, I returned to the patron and said, " Because you chose to disregard what I said and shut down the computer, you must leave!" I said it twice. He then gave me the statement that began this entry.

It just so happend that one of the security guards had just gotten off the elevator. I worked with her in another department in this city. She is well aware of how tolerant I am.


Thursday, May 17, 2007

3rd Floor Carpet Installation Day 4

That's right, so far the carpet removal/installation has taken 4 days and only 1/4 of the floor has been completed.

Today, they began moving the computer terminals, tables, and chairs on the side of the floor on which I work. I have watched people sit down in front of terminals that have been moved away from the usual position. They aren't plugged-in and the chairs have been moved away from the tables. These people have pulled chairs up to these terminal and proceeded to examine the terminals to find out why they won't turn on.

For the past month, there has been a posting on the library homepage regarding the new carpet installation. The dates were posted. The questions I received (my first time on the desk today was 3:00 p.m.)

"Why don't the computers work?"

"What are they doing again?"

"Do you know if the computers will be working tomorrow?"

"Why don't they put signs on the computers?"

"They haven't finished yet?"

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Rising temperatures brings out the unusual

This marks the third day where the noon day temperature is above 70 degrees. Sitting at the reference desk, I marvel at the creative ways in which a people accustomed to fog and wind adjust to the heat.

The ways in which they have chosen to expose their flesh. Some things, I wish that I hadn't seen.

It rained last week and it is obvious which individuals couldn't wait to break out the linen and sandals.

I have seen feet that should never be exposed! I mean, neva eva, eva!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

New Rules & Guidelines effective May 1, 2007

Some are new and some aren't but a few of them stood out in my mind when I browsed the list.

Want to know which ones? Well, even if you don't, I am going to share them.

Uniform Staff Procedures for Enforcement of the Guidelines of Library Use and
other Library rules


4. Persons under the influence of alcohol or non-prescribed drugs are not allowed on Library

Now any and everyone who has ever visited a public library knows that the majority
of our patrons fall into this category. ***The most that will ever be given for violation is a
7-day suspension.

8. Animals, other than service animals assisting persons with disabilities, are not permitted
inside Library facilities or within 10 feet of any door.

Everyone and their Momma brings their dog up in here. They will claim in a minute that
it is a companion dog. You see anything from a pitbul to a lab.

11. Sleeping or lying on the floor or furniture is prohibited.

You can take a stroll around this floor any given time of the day and catch a few people

18. Unreasonable use of rest rooms, including laundering and bathing [smoking, soliticiting,
clogging drains and brushing teeth.]

We receive complaints daily regarding this.

20. Harassing or threatening Library users or staff.
20a. Harassing or threatening staff or patron:
Maximum punishment is a 12-month suspension.

There is a total of 32 guidelines. I have listed just a few that stand out. I also wonder how well enforcement will go. Most of these guidelines are already listed in the rules and regulations portion of our website and the library application packet.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Original Fashion Statement

As seen in the library today April 17, 2007. Do you tire of carrying your Chihuahua? Why not place your pouch in a stroller. Not a doll stroller, but one meant for human babies!!!!

That is the new trend set by one patron.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Promotion Quest

I've been telling a few close friends and family for a while that I don't think the possibility for a promotion is near in this library system.

It's not that there aren't any openings, it's just that they all are Children's Librarian Branch Manager. I have vowed to never return to Children's services. You are over worked and under appreciated. To combine that job with the responsibilities of a branch manager is too much. Most people who take on the task only last a few years. Yes, there are those who just love being a children's librarian and have stayed in the position for years.

When the love of being a Children's librarian isn't as strong as the desire to be a branch manager, people transfer to an Adult Services Branch Manager position.

The Children's Librarian Branch Manager positions are rarely filled as transfers, the next step is to open them up as temporary reassignments. They think that means those of us who want a promotion will bite.

Well, I guess no one is really biting. So what have they done? They have opened up the hiring list for Librarian II. This is a sideways approach to get those of us who desire a promotion to get in line for those Children's Librarian Branch Manager openings.

Yeah, I applied.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

A compliment, I guess. Not

My last hour on the reference desk.

Two older black men walked past the desk. The short ugly one said to me ( I had helped them earlier,) " You seem to have a pretty smile, but you have a ugly look in your eyes."

My response," Thanks for sharing!"

An older black man who is here every day, all day approached me about 15 minutes before the last two.

He started with this little speech about leaving his reading glasses at home. Finally......he asked if he could check out a magnifying glass.

***We have had problems with the magnifying glasses that we lend out, they never seem to come back.******This problem also occurs with the reference items that are held behind each desk******We are losing books and supplies so much so, that management issues and updated mandatory required valid acceptable form of identification******

So, ol' dude produces this faded piece of hard plastic that looked as if it may have been some type of badge with a picture on it at one time or another. You can't even tell if the image could have possibly been him at one time.

I looked at it and told him, " NOPE!!!" He had the nerve to mumble as he was walking away, "bitch."

My first instinct was to get mad, but then I calmed down immediately. I told myself that he will be back tomorrow and he will neeed something again. We shall see if I even entertain his question.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

I AM NOT PSYCHIC, no matter what you were told

If you ask me to show you how to open your USB Flash Drive, don't turn around and ask me why the folder says trash and your name..............HELLO, I DON'T KNOW.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

I found this today and thought that I'd share it

AP - Tue Mar 27, 5:06 PM ET
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. - A cameraman was caught with some creepy video footage. The man was surreptitiously videotaping female feet in the science library at University of California, Santa Cruz, campus police said. "Officers indicated he was embarrassed by his behavior," university spokesman Jim Burns said Monday. "He offered no resistance to the request that he leave immediately and indicated he would not be back."

I have heard of this but I have never witnessed it. I have also heard of men licking women's toes while they were studying in the library(this happened while I was working at GSU Library.)

Silence no more!!!!

The two weeks of silence are gone. No more sitting at my desk and actually hearing myself think. SHE'S BACK, the loud mouth librarian. She is returning her voicemail calls. I am wondering why she hasn't been scheduled on the reference desk yet.

I am tired of her voice already. I know, I know, I need a new job already. I haven't even been in this department for a year. April 25th will mark my one year anniversary of being in this position.

It's not the duties, it's not my supervisor, it's not my manager. IT'S THE LOUD COWORKERS!

They have been here for 10 or more years, so I know they aren't going anywhere. It is I who must make that move.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Just another rainy Monday

I finally decided that today was the day to pay my property taxes. It had been sprinkling all day.

2:00 p.m., I decide to trek over to City Hall. Well, I get downstairs and it was pouring down raining and COLD. As I got closer to the building, I noticed that a lot of people were exiting the building. I reached the top of the stairs after snaking my way through and around people, IT'S A FIRE ALARM!!!!!!!!

I have to put off paying my taxes once again. There's an ATM in City Hall, but that was off limits also. This meant I had to walk another block and a half. By the time I reached the ATM, I was dripping wet and I still had to walk back to work.

I needed the ATM today because I have to replace a tire. I went to visit my friend at the library she manages in East Oakland on Saturday. I parked on the 49th and Foothill, she told me not to do it last month when I was there. I figured there was a space right by the door to the library. The bad part is that I figured wrong.

The right front tire has a slash. It is jagged and slanted. But get this, the tire has a slow leak. It cant' be repaired, it has to be replaced!!!!!! It's a good thing that I use public transportation as a means to get to and from work.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Wave cap and her DRAMA

About two weeks ago, I was stopping at my desk before going out to the reference desk. I see Wave Cap approaching my desk with her grown son in tow( it is 9:55 a.m.) They were headed toward the staff fax machine. It is right across from my desk, so we passed each other.

Now every since I told on her a few months back, she hadn't been really speaking to me. Well, low and behold, she decides to showboat in front of her son and say hi. I looked at her like she is CRAZY; paused, said hi and kept it moving.

Here it is about two weeks later and she came shuffling back to the fax machine this morning. I didn't even have to looks up. No one else shuffles around in slippers all day long. The woman had the nerve to say HI. I didn't look up, I didn't turn my head, but I did say hi.

She continued to shuffle pass my desk about three more times before I went out to the reference desk.

When I returned to my desk an hour later, there was a pile of books that needed to be withdrawn or sent to preservation. She did the punk move of waiting until I was gone to place a stack of work on my desk(she has done this twice so far today.)

Why am I writing about this. Well, she went to the other black librarian (male) and asked him why I didn't like her!!!!!!!!

When he told me about her question, I told him that it goes back to her getting mad because I inadvertently told my boss that she wasn't doing her job correctly. She was mad at me for weeks after that and stopped saying anything to me.

I told him that he can tell her to stop trying with me because that first incident with her, set the tone for our working relationship...........Don't SPEAK TO ME!!!! If you feel that you must say hi, do it and keep it moving.

I have said this over and over about the petty women working in this system, I DON'T NEED ANYMORE FEMALE FRIENDS!!!!!!

Monday, March 12, 2007

RUN-DMC-You Talk Too Much

I have a co-worker who sits in the aisle next to mine. I am reminded of the refrain from this song everytime she opens her mouth. She is loud and you know exaclty what is going on with everyone everywhere. She will be on vacation this week and I have been looking forward to this every since I heard her making the plans.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Just when I was prepared to get some work done

I am on a committee that selects the non-fiction books that will be available for purchase by our library system.

Each month I am responsible for gathering all of the titles for two different sections. This entails me printing out all of the information for each book, reviews and all, and forwarding it to the chairperson for the committee.

We meet each month and go over each title for each and every non-fiction book that will be featured the following month.

I have put this off since the last week of February. Well, the meeting is Thursday of next week. This means that I must get cracking.

GUESS WHAT????????????????............The main printer for the entire floor is BROKEN!!!!

I am now expected to save everything I want to print to USB Flashdrive and then go to another terminal and print the information. That only lasted long enough for me to print two titles.

I printed that mess while I was on the reference desk. I kept asking my boss if the printer was fixed yet.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Here we go again......Lunchtime Special

One of the library pages approached the Security guard who happened to be posted on the railing in front of the reference desk. Silly me, I thought he was teasing her about talking loudly in the library..........Little did I know.

The page whispers to me, "There is a patron sitting at a computer terminal outside of the gay/lesbian center getting busy." I gave him a quizzical look, so he continues, "You know, the patron is full on, pants down getting busy."

Security guard was right on time, because she was able to catch the patron in the act. And...lucky for us, but not so lucky for the patron......The police officer who is stationed at this library just so happened to be walking by.

The lead ol' boy away down the back stairs.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Not my typical rainy Monday

Today is the first day that I had to report a patron masturbating. It was brought to my attention by a wheelchair bound patron who was waiting to use the computer.

As I was walking past, on my way back to the staff area.

Patron: "Ew, just nasty."

I leaned in to hear what he was saying clearly because I thought that I didn't hear him clearly.

The patron whispered in my ear that the man at terminal 351 was masturbating. I glanced over and there he was. One hand inside his pants, just working away; while he used the other hand to maneuver the mouse.

Instead of heading to my desk in the back, I made a bee line for the reference desk, so that I could call security and report the incident. I waited five minutes for an officer to arrive.
I pointed out the offending patron.

THE PATRON HAD THE NERVE TO NOT ONLY DENY IT, BUT TO ASK WHO COMPLAINED. I overheard all of this while I was once again making an attempt to return to my desk in the staff area.

I told the patron that I had seen him with my own eyes. First, he said, " I was scratching myself."

I looked at him with a smirk on my face. He then said, " Don't you have work that you should be doing!"

The security officer simply made the patron get up so that he could be escorted out of the building.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007


Me: Did you need some help?

Patron: " Yeah, it's about oxygen! " [I look at him like go on...]

"You have children in the builing.............."[I began to look at him like he'd lost

" It's probably easier for me to notice this........................"[I was still lost, wondering
what in the world he was
talking about]

"There's something that your management can buy................." [ I continued to look at
him in wonder]

And then, FIANALLY!!!!!!!

" The children, your building is depleting them of their oxygen. "

BACK TO REALITY/EARTH, since he obviously wasn't getting through to

" Where is computer terminal number 379?"

I pointed him in the right direction with the quickness!!!!!!

Monday, February 12, 2007

My first false fire alarm

Sundays, this library closes at 5:00 p.m. Yesterday, at 4:07 p.m. the fire alarm starts to go off. I was in of all places, the restroom.

There's construction going on in th building, so sometimes the fire alarm goes off accidently. This was not the case. So by 4:12 p.m. we havd almost all of our floor cleared and my boss told me to exit the building.

I had just glanced at the evacuation instructions, to see what my assigned duty was. I failed to pay attention to what area the staff was supposed to meet in.

Why, oh why did I go to the front of the building? I still thought it might have been a false alarm and they would reopen the building immediately.

This is what I over heard:

Patron(who comes here everyday, stays all day, and wears the same thing,) " This is a waste of the tax payers money. That was probably a false alarm because they don't want us in there. This library is always waisting our tax payer dollars!"

He was periodically looking at me at he said all of that. After the last sentence, I couldn't hold it in any longer and began laughing.

The Patron then looked at me and said, " You are laughing, but I am serious and I know that the library is just waisting our tax payer money!"

I knew that if I stayed in that spot any longer, I would have said some things to hurt that man.
I was laughing because I was thinking that that man knows he doesn't pay taxes. If anything, he gets SSI and that is part of my tax dollars supporting him monthly.

In my effort not to enrage the patrons even more, I decided to move to the other side of the building.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Where is the paper shredder when you need it?

My first hour on the reference desk was spent listening to this woman tear notebook paper into shreds. I don't know how many notebooks she had, but it seemed as if the sound of paper tearing would never end.

My co-worker kept walking away from the desk and going back to the staff area, in hopes that she would be done when he returned.........Nope, she was still there each time, just shredding away.

We were afraid to give her a pair of scissors. The only type of scissors we are allowed to give patrons are child proof, but we still feared that she might harm herself or someone else.

Finally, with ten minutes left on the desk, she stopped.........................Walked to the desk and returned a pair of SCISSORS that one of the librarians must have given her the previous hour.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Sometimes I am left speechless

I was searching for a book this afternoon. While walking in the direction in which the book was shelved, I noticed something odd. I thought, no, I didn't see what I thought I saw. So, me being me, I looked again....

A patron was browsing the book truck while.................PICKING HIS NOSE!!!!!!!

In that moment, I made a mental note to myself to always use sanitizer after touching a book.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Crazy trips me up each and every time

A patron asked me to find a book about kings for her.....Okay, what type of kings, where. "Oh all european kings, I want names and years." I located a general book and we were off in seach of it.

We get to the aisle where the book is shelved. In a hushed tone........."Can you find me a book on Satan" I looked at that woman like, "What the..........................." So she says, "That was a real person, that was his name." Then she eyes a book on Ancient Greece. "Can you get me a title on Ancient Rome too, I know, you can find one in the computer." Once again, I looked at her like she was out of her mind because the reference desk was on the other side of the room. Before I left in search of the two different subjects, she said, "I know, I keep asking you for different things when I should have asked when you were at the desk, but I don't know what I want."

I went back to the desk and found some more call number sections for her to look at because I was THROUGH helping her. I knew that her search would be never ending, since I was searching for whatever popped into her mind. ****Greece, Rome, and Europe are all in the same general area, but I needed to step away from that woman for a minute!

The situation had me for a minute

I telephoned a friend in Atlanta while leaving work yesterday. I sat in the car and continued to speak with her. Because of the time difference, I knew that our conversation wouldn't be long. After sitting in the car for ten minutes.....................................

I hear the door handle being moved. I look up from my conversation, and see an older man with a suitcase. He began yelling for me to open my car door. I was yelling in return, telling him to get away from my car. This man told me to shut up and open the door. We went back and forth for a couple of seconds.

My friend asked what the problem was. I told her hurriedly that a bum was trying to open my car door. I quickly got off the cell and started the engine. Thankfully, the fool had begun to walk away.

I was/am thankful that I had enough sense to lock the doors. I am glad that he didn't break the window or have a gun. I was about four blocks away from my current job, but I was right in front of my old job.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Yesterday they left me tired

Theses things occurred during the last hour that I worked the reference desk.

1st Patron was actually being helped by my co-worker( She's new to the department, but not
the profession or this library system--old as dirt)

The patron was asking how she would go about using her USB Flash Drive because she
hadn't used one before. She then wanted to know how she could use one of the public
computers to transfer her documents from her floppy disk to the flash drive.

Insert the dumb look on my co-worker's face when she turns to me and asks, "Do you know what she is refering to?" (Thanks Tam)

At that point, I took over the reference question. I took the patron to the wordprocessing terminals and showed her where she would insert both the floppy disk and the flash drive.

The patron then asked me if a librarian would be able to show her how to transfer the information. I explained to the patron that we haven't been trained to do that and if anyone
is familiar with the process, it is because they have done it with their own documents.

The patron then asked, " Well is there anyone whose sole job is to show patrons how to transfer documents on the public computers"

I told the patron that that isn't the role of the librarians; but like I said before those who have done the tasks in question themselves, may be able to assist patrons.

The next question was, "Do you know how to transfer files from floppy to flash drive."

I told the patron that I didn't, and I don't own a flash drive.

Patron: "Well, do you know which librarian's have experience transfering documents? I mean,
do you know any names or what floor anyone with that experience might work on?"

I explained once again, "We are not trained to assist the patrons in the transfer of data, but you
might luck up and find a librarian who is."

Patron: "I still don't understand the difference in the computers or the floppy drives and the
flash drives, and how to use them with the computers."

Once again, I explained to the patron how she would use both on the computers and the difference between the two.

Patron: "Well, I don't have the flash drive or floppy disk with me today, I just wanted to know
what to do!" ..............................And, she walked away.

Last patron.

Patron: Can you help me to find a book about "coming out?"

I searched the online catalog and finally found a title that was supposed to be on the shelf. Most of the titles I found were reference and he wanted something he could checkout.

As we were walking to the shelves to search for some books, the patron said to me, " I don't want a book with more that 100 pages." (English seemed to be his second language)

Patron: "If the book has more than 100 pages, I won't be able to understand it."

The book wasn't on the shelf, so I sent him to another desk where they would retrieve the books from the shelves in the staff area.

The patron comes back to the desk. Patron: "I don't want a non-fiction book, because I'm
already out. I want a fiction book no more than
100 pages."
I changed the search and found some fiction titles for him to choose from. I found two books with less than 200 pages, but he seemed happy.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

What would you say?

What do you say to the patron who says, "You take a nice picture."
( He said this while looking from me to my badge, while I was searching the online catalog.)

My reply,"Um yeah, thanks!"

What was going through my mind was, "So, does this mean I look horrible in person?"

The way in which he said it didn't sound complimentary to me.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

The Blonde

Random rant

Why did this guy approach the desk and just decide to share his craziness with me.

The patron approached the desk and just looked at me. He didn't say anything for 3 seconds. Finallly, I asked, " Do you need help finding a book?"

Patron, " Um, no.........Oh yes, I do need a book."

Me: "Do you know the title or the subject that you are looking for?"

Patron: "No, yes............I want a grammar book........No, I want to know about sentence structure..................."

I began looking for a title that discussed grammar. I found some titles and was about to print them.

Patron: "Oh, no, I want to know how to better understand what I read."

Me: "So you want something in regard to reading and comprehension?"

I began looking for that type of book and abandoned the search for a grammar book.

Patron: "No, I want a book on how to read faster"

Me: "So you want a book that will teach you how to speed read?"

Patron: "No, I want to learn to read faster!"

Me: "Yes, that is called speed reading."

I find a title, print out the information and take him to the section where the book is shelved.

I tell the patron, "This is the section where you want to be. There are grammar and reading books."

I return to the desk and the patron followed me.

Patron: " I want another book. I want one on grammar."

I searched for a specific title and told him, "It's in the same section we just left and I told you that you would find what you needed there. No, you decided to follow me back to the desk instead of just looking for what you needed."

****The grammar books were on shelf above the speed reading books. Yes, I know this is a part of the job that I have chosen, but does it mean they are allowed to drive me crazy?

Monday, January 08, 2007

Did I make you mad, or did I hurt your feelings?

Actually, I don't care, as long as it means you will stop asking me questions that you should already know the answer to.

Sundays are usually pretty odd/hectic here. We are short staffed on the weekends, but Sundays especially. There are only three of us who have chosen this as our regularly scheduled workday.

Problems arise when one of us has a scheduled vacation day, or calls in sick. Well yesterday fell into this category. One of us had a vacation day. This meant that we had more part-time temporary as needed librarians on the schedule.

Well......I worked with one in particular for two hours. 1/2 hour into our second hour together, I was tired of her lazy mess. I began answering her questions without even looking in her direction or away from the computer terminal.

After the patron left, she sauntered over to my side of the desk and said, "You know us T.E.A.N.'s have a hard time"

The sentence is incomplete because I stopped her right there and said, "Yeah well, you know that isn't going to fly with me because I did what you do!"

She then asked, " Oh, you were a PTAN?"

My answer, "Yes, for 3 years and I worked in the branches. 23 of the 27(now 28,) to be exact.

Her next question, " And, you remembered everything?"

My response, "Yes, everything!"

She went back to her side of the desk and didn't ask me another question.

(I used two different terms for the part-time librarian because they were called PTAN's during the time that I was one and now they are called T.E.A.N.'s.)

The woman mentioned in this post has worked here part-time for more that 10 years and she is in this department at least three times per week. She does the same thing to everyone, I just got feed up yesterday and said something. Hopefully, she will remember not to ask me anymore questions.