Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Ummm NO!

A patron asked me if we are open on January 1st. When I said, "No," the patron said, "Well I guess it's good that y'all get a day off."

Monday, December 22, 2008

At first, I thought I was being sensitive

My co-worker then confirmed what I believed to be true.

It began a few months ago, I don't know why he picked me, but he has. This old man wobbled to the desk and just stood in front of me. I was in the middle of helping a patron, so I walked away in order to help the patron retrieve a book. When I returned to the desk, the man was still standing in the same spot. My co-worker was sitting on the opposite end of the desk doing nothing.

I finally asked, "Did you need something?" He said, "YEAH, I NEED SOMETHING!" He didn't elaborate. My co-worker finally recovered from whatever fog she was in and said, "Oh, I'm sorry, can I help you?" She did this because I was still helping the first patron.

He has done other little things to me since, but I can't remember each one. What stands out the most in my mind is how he will just stand in front of me and stare when I'm at the reference desk.

Yesterday, he returned the reference desk copy of the K.ing J.ames version of the B.ible. After I returned his identification to him, he asked me, "Do you believe in J.esus?" I said, "Un huh." I was thinking, "Of course I do, that is what has kept me from telling you off!"

Back to today. This same man approached me at the reference desk and said, "THE WORD!" I asked, "Did you want the B.ible?" He said, "Same difference, B.ible, word, whatever." I then said, "If you want the B.ible, you need to ask for it by the correct name."

When he left, I told my co-worked that the patron is always messing with me. My co-worker said, "I noticed that, he has always approached me and asked for the K.ing J.ames B.ible. For whatever reason, he just doesn't like you."

I have now decided that if possilbe, I will just walk away from the desk whenever I see that patron wobbling toward me."

It's been raining and cold

Well, cold to us is anything below 50 degrees. It's been in the 40's. When it's raining and or cold, the library fills up. About 12;30p.m., it almost looked as if it was standing room only on the floor. And the smells, I wanted to turn around and return to the staff area.

Seen and heard at the reference desk:

I saw a man walk past and it seemed as if he was digging for gold with his
pinkie finger(in his nose.) What made this sight ultra scary is that he had
on a chef's jacket.

I helped a patron and then she said to me, " You are one of my favorite
librarians, because you shush people when they get noisy." I said, "Thank
you, I think."

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Being unable to recognize that you're referring to yourself

Sunday afternoon, OED man approached the reference desk and began asking my co-worker to look up words and his new obsession of phrases.

I walked away from the desk to assist a patron in locating a book. Upon my return to the reference desk, my co-worker says to me, "OED said, if we created a new department, just for the crazy people, there wouldn't be any patrons in our department." I asked my co-worker, "Is he including himself in the proposed new department?"

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Sometimes you just need to step away

This happened to one of my co-workers yesterday, and he said that I should write about it here.

One of our semi-regulars approached my co-worker at the reference desk and asked, "CAN YOU HELP ME FIND A BOOK THAT WILL TELL ME HOW TO MAKE MY BEST FRIEND TURN G.AY!"

My co-workers response, "YOU NEED TO JUST GO AWAY NOW!!!!" My co-worked then walked away from the reference desk and came into the staff area. He said that he just needed to take a moment away from the desk to just breath.

Background info on the patron:

For about 3 months, he rolled into the library on a very fancy motorized chair. He would just use the computers to type about 10 signs. He would then tape the signs to the back of his chair. He would do this everyday. I was curious, so one day, I read a portion of the signs. They said, "I am looking for my boyfriend. He helps me do everything." The signs went on to describe his boyfriend in detail.

One day he just stopped. From that point on, he had a laptop whenever he came into the library. I forgot to add that he was always very dirty, head to toe.

He hadn't been in here for quite a while, and then I noticed him again, last week. He is a little cleaner, hair cut, motorized chair gone. He now has an old school wheelchair.

Monday, December 08, 2008

I didn't know it was possible

Yesterday, I saw a patron maintain his pimp stroll while using a cane. He had a mean lean to the left. The cane was in the right hand. He also did a glide/shuffle.

Today, I have angered a co-worker. It wasn't my intention. She just assumed that I would feel sympathy for her and I don't. She has gotten away with not working the schedule that she agreed to when she was hired. This has gone on for more than 6 months. She complained to me because the management has informed her that she must return to her Sunday work schedule. Her whine, "I WON'T HAVE TWO DAYS OFF IN A ROW ANYMORE!"

My reply, "I didn't have 2 days in a row off for 5 years, and I was working 3 different jobs!"

Sunday, December 07, 2008

No policy against it exists, so it is allowed

This is what my supervisor told me. We were at the reference desk together. I noticed out of the corner of my eye, a man at one of the teen computers, zip lock bag in hand. He had rolling papers in the other hand that he had just lined. As I observed him rolling the joi.nt, I mentioned it to my boss, and he said, "Since there isn't a policy against a patron rolling a joint, it is allowed!"

So I now know that it is okay for folks to sit in the open and roll joints inside the library.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

True Crime readers scare me!!!!!!

A petite woman approached me at the reference desk. She specifically bypassed my co-worker to get to me. Her hair was disheveled, her skin was dirty, she had glasses with coke bottle lenses, they were dirty and lopsided.

She asked, "Do you have any books on KIL.LERS."

I looked at her oddly. She then said, "You know, like Scott Peters.on, or Charles Man.son."

I asked, "Do you want one about Scott, or Charles?"

She said, " I want a book about each of them."

As I was telling her what books were available, she said, "And do you have a book about SER.IAL KIL.LERS?"

I stopped typing and looked at her. She then said, "I'm studying them."

I took her to the section and pulled the books myself. She told me as I was walking away, "I'm just going to study the books in here." I said, "Uh huh," and kept walking.

When I returned to the desk, I relayed the interaction to my co-worker. He said, "Yeah, she's studying those books so she can learn how to be a ser.ial kill.er."

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

In my experience, giving a man a fish will only lead to

him asking you to cook it and plan the rest of the meal while you're at it.

Monday afternoon at 4:30 p.m(I was off the desk at 5 p.m.,) a man approached the desk and asked me for hospital statistics. I removed the American Hosp.ital Statisti.cs handbook off the shelf. I opened the book to the Californ.ia hospit.al statist.ics page. I showed the information to the man. He said, "Oh, I want hospital statistics for A.frica."

I searched to see if we might have a book in our collection with that information. We didn't, so I then searched the internet. I found some statistics for a children's hospital in S.outh Africa. I printed this and showed it to the man. He said, "I want statistics for hospitals in West Africa." I searched a bit more and didn't find anything and told the man so. He then said, "I want statistics on medical schools in Africa."

My search resulted in a list of medical schools in S.outh A.frica. I showed this to the man and he said, "I want to know the costs to build a school in Africa."

This time, I found information on a foundation that provides grants for the building of elementary schools in A.frica. I also found a proposal for the building of an elementary school in S.outh A.frica. The proposal also included the cost of building a dormatory. I gave all of this information to the man and he said, " I want to know the cost of building a medical school in W.est A.frica. My brother wants to build a medical school for the area where I am from. All of the funding will come from A.merica." By this time, I had given the man 25 minutes of my time. I told him that he needed to take the information that I gave him and do further research.

He then said, "What about salaries? I need to know how much it will cost to pay the instructors." I told him that he would have to look at the websites for medical schools in S.outh A.frica and see what they are offering as salary and then make an educated guess." He then realized that I was done with him and said, "Well I guess this will have to do."

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Pleasantly Surprised

This morning, as I exited the staff area, I noticed a man sitting in front of a computer terminal with his hands raised.
This was such an unusual appearance. I looked at the scream while walking toward the staff elevator. The man was praying. He was watching an online ministry and he was praying with the minister.
My joy at seeing someone in one of the perv seats doing something positive was short lived.
The closer I got to the elevator, I was able to get a glimpse of the usual filth being watched online.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

They got me.........I received a summons.......

The summons was for JURY DUTY! On Wednesday, the defense attorney dismissed me from jury duty.

Today, one of my co-workers informed me that Mr. Booty Shorts was able to slip past security because he was performing a "presto chango" in the restroom, once on his designated floor.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Animals in the library

I'm sure that everyone remembers the rule that says, Only Service Animals Are Allowed.
Well, I work for a "pu.nk" system. Everyone is allowed to bring their animal into the library. Security is supposed to ask if it's a "companion" animal, and the patron is supposed to show proof of such.

Management is so afraid of the possible lawsuits, so all animals are allowed to enter the building.

Yesterday, an elderly woman approached me at the reference desk and asked, "Are dogs allowed in the library?"

I told her, "They do allow them in here."

She then stated that the dog whom the owner had placed on a chair near her, was causing her to cough. Because of management, the only solution I could offer was to put her on another computer away from the animal.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Patrons/Computers@the Public Library

Thankfully, I left work @ 3:00 p.m. this past Thursday and I won't return until Wednesday November 12th.

A brother man approached me at the reference desk and said, "I reserved the computer for 2 o'clock, and it won't allow me to log-in."

I said, while looking at the time on my computer, "You need to wait....." He cut me off and said, "IT'S AFTER 2 p.m., AND THE COMPUTER WON'T LET ME LOG ON!"

I followed him to the computer terminal that he was complaining about. Low and behold, the internet was up and I told him, "All you need to do is click the start icon."

He sat down at the computer, turned to me and said, "It must have just been slow."

I turned and walked away, thinking,"Didn't I say that you needed to wait."

10 minutes later, brother man approached me again. He said, "I am trying to apply for a job online and it's saying that it doesn't recognize my address."

Once again, I followed him back to his terminal. He explained to me that he had just input his address and it's not being recognized. I looked at the screen, and saw that he had put too much information in line 1 of the address (He had typed his complete address in line 1 and continued to type everything else in the appropriate boxes.)

I told him to try removing the extra information from line 1. He did so. A message appeared. It said that he had already submitted an application and he couldn't submit another one until 11/16/2008.

I returned to the desk.

Another 5 minutes pass and brother man approached the desk again, but this time he goes over to my co-worker and whispers what happened each time he asked me for help. He told my co-worker that he didnt' understand why I didnt' stay over there and wait for him to finish. I had already told my co-worker what happened each time I went back there to help him.

My co-worker told the patron, "It isn't our job to assist you with whatever you are working on. We can help you if there is a problem with the computer, but we are supposed to be available for desk reference questions. One on one computer assistance is not something that librarians are allowed to do.

He then asks her if she will help him and says loudly, "I JUST DON'T WANT HER HELPING ME AGAIN." As they are walking toward the computer terminal, he said, "I am not computer illiterate!"

When my co-worker returned to the desk, she said, "He wanted to know why he couldn't access a web page. He didn't add .com in the address bar."

I told her, "Yet, he said that he wasn't computer illiterate!"

Sunday, November 02, 2008

To possess both rudeness and laziness

I returned for the page desk and my co-worker was on the telephone. From what I could piece together, it was a reference call and she decided that the caller had been transferred to the wrong department.

My co-worker transferred the call(or so she thought,)turned to me and said, "The light is still blinking. Do you have someone on hold?" I told her no and continued to read the newspaper online.

She picked up the receiver and said, "WHO IS THIS?" She then began speaking to the person on the other line about the reference call and why the information desk staff should have more training.

Once she finished her conversation, she tells me, "That was the floor manager from upstairs. I have never met her, but she knew exactly who I was when I picked up the receiver. I can't recall ever even speaking with her on the telephone. How could she know me by voice?"

I looked at her, turned my head, and continued reading the online newspaper. If I had said all of the things running through my mind as possible answers, I would have hurt her feelings permanently.

1. There are three rude librarians in our department. 1 isn't here
today and the other has an accent.
2. You are known throughout the building for pointing out the flaws in
others, but never admiting yours.
3. A prime example is that you didn't successfully transfer that call.
Instead of admitting that you did something wrong, you said that the
patron must have hung up.

Friday, October 24, 2008

All prepared and everything

This week, I was prepared to capture those unbelievable moments with my miniature digital camera. I didn't see any of the outlandish folks.

I also found out that security banned the booty short shim from the last post.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Sights to behold

I am trying to devise a creative way in which I can capture the images that I see. There are days when I see some things that amaze me.

Wednesday before last, I saw a man walking the floor, he had on a burgundy men's t-shirt, a burgundy, pink, and brown ruffled skirt with a white lace trim. Rounding out his ensemble were pink tub socks and brown hiking boots. The highlight of my evening was the man standing next to the reference desk on the side that I was sitting, and posing. If I moved, he moved.

When my supervisor saw what was going on, he told me, "Consider yourself blessed!"

This past Thursday, I got to see what I had only heard about. A man in a woman's spaghetti strapped spandex tank top, and denim booty shorts. They looked as if he had cut them himself. His butt cheeks were exposed. The last time that he was on our floor in that attire, a supervisor approached him and told him that he was dressed inappropriately. He told the supervisor to, stay out of his business.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Do they really?

This past Sunday 20 minutes before closing, a woman aproached me at the ref desk.
She was complaining that there was a man in the L.G. Center (where she was reading) talking kind of loud to himself and just acting strange. The kicker...

She said,"I realize some people come here and stay all day everyday, because they need someplace to go. There were other people in there, but they left because of that guy."

I looked at the clock and thanked her for telling me. By the time she finished, it was 15 minutes before closing. I told her that we are quite familiar with the guy, and so is security.

Because of the time, I knew that calling security would be a waste of time. I also knew that the guy would be leaving the building within 5 minutes.

What all of the staff knows about the man who"lives" in the center is that.....
1.He thinks that the center is
only for his use.
2.He makes funny noises and
talks to himself in the hope
that he will cause others to
leave the center.
3.Security makes him leave all
of the time.
What I know about the woman who complained is that she comes here everyday and stays all day!

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Incompatible activities

We the employees of this great institution have to sign an agreement that we have read this new revised policy that goes into effect Monday October 6, 2008. It basically says that we cannot use the department computers for anything that isn't work related.

My post may be even fewer and far in between. I don't feel like posting in the morning and by the time I get home in the evening, I am not thinking about the computer. I sit in front of a computer all day long, so I rarely use the one at home. I guess this new policy means that I will have to make the effort from now on.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Seen today at 4:20 p.m.

An elderly man with earplugs in both ears, yelling questions to me. As he walked away, my co-worker asked, "Why does he have plugs in his ears, if he wants to speak with others and ask questions?" I told her that I had no clue.

The man returned again, because he obviously didn't hear me clearly. He wanted to add money to his copy card. Instead of inserting his card and then adding the money, he simply put money in the machine. He kept asking me what the problem was. As first, I thought the card wasn't working because he didn't have enough money. He assured me that he added the correct amount of money to his card. I walked over to the copy machine and saw that he had in fact put the correct amount of money in the machine, but since he never put his copy card in, the money was still in the machine.

I removed the money, then inserted the copy card and added the money to the card.

When I returned to the desk, my coworker was shaking her head and laughing.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Typical telephone reference calls

"Hello, I graduated from college, can you tell me how many units I have?". My co-worker was stunned into silence for a few seconds.

"Yeah, I have a press release and I want to know if someone can tell me whether or not I should use one of the sentences."

"Is noseless a word?" I gave the answer. 2nd question..
" How do you spell Florence Night.engale's last name because it's not spelled like the bird.--This patron always calls with these crossword like questions.

"Why do I have to go into the library to read a reference book? Why can't you just look up what I need and read me the answers over the telephone.

There is always a telephone reference that annoys us.

What does it look like to you?

To ward off harrassment or having to say,"I'm not interested at ALL;" I usually wear this ring on my left ring finger. Last week, a man I had been helped for a minute (who stared me up and down the whole time,) asked me, "So, are you married."

It is so bad, that I keep the set in my wallet at all times.

This is the one I wear whenever I have on white gold accessories. Fortunately/Unfortunately, my ex-boyfriend pops in on my job enough for this to be believeable. We can usually be seen arguing.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Don't Let them get to you!

That is what a patron said to me this past Sunday. I had been on the desk a little over an hour. I was scheduled to be at the reference desk for two hours straight. We are usually scheduled for desk duty every other hour. It was kind of brutal that day.

The patron who said those words to me comes into the library almost everyday. Whenever I see him, he always has a huge smile on his face. He is able to walk with the aid of crutches.

When I saw him, I smiled as usual, but immediately afterward, I continued relaying to my co-worker what had just happened. I guess he heard the frustration in my voice.

Monday afternoon, while at the reference desk, the same man approached me at the reference desk and I began laughing. He said, "I just wanted to see how you're feeling today." I told him that I was laughing because I was remembering what he told me the day before.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Are you saying that you watch me?

As I pulled into a parking space Sunday morning, I noticed a man standing in a nearby doorway. I proceeded to park my car and gather my belongings. Once I exited the car, the man said, "WHY DO YOU AlWAYS LOOK SO MAD?". I was thinking, "Because I don't appreciate someone watching my every action". My actual response was, "It's because I don't feel like doing what I have to do!". I didn't wait for a response, I kept it moving.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008


I heard something that sounded like paper being torn. I looked to my right and out of the corner of my eye, I spotted one of our regulars tearing a page from a reference book. He immediately rushed to the opposite side of the table so that his next actions were not in full view of the reference desk.

I walked over to the patron and said, "Tearing pages out of our books is not allowed."

The patron gave me a very odd look, because the page he had torn was blank.

I then said, "Even if the page is blank, you are not to remove it from a book!"

The patron said, "Oh, you're not."

I said, "NO" and walked back to the reference desk. Lucky for me and not so lucky for the patron. Two floor supervisors just so happened to be at the desk. I told them of the incident. They decided that the rules would be followed and both supervisors would speak to the patron with a security guard present.

Homey stuck to his story and said, "The page is blank, what's the problem?"

They explained to the patron that he had actually destroyed library property.

The security guard took the patron away. A formal incident report was filed and the patron has been banned from all branch libraries in our system for 90 days.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

I've only been at the reference desk for 40 minutes

I am done for the day. A Russ*an chick just came to the desk looking for Confessions of A Video Vi*en and or The Vi*en Diaries.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Don't you just love your job

That's what a patron asked me today. What he actually said was........

"Don"t you just love your job? It just seems like so much fun."

I said, "Um, no!"

Patron: "Why not?"

Me: "It's actually a mixture between a halfway house and a homeless shelter."

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Yesterday's funny

It came from the public elevator area. I know the voice I heard was that of a woman, but I can't tell you if she was on a cellular telephone or speaking with a live person.

This is what I heard:


I couldn't help myself, I just laughed so hard. My supervisor, on the other hand, ran over there to see if he could defuse the situation. By the time he got there, the woman was in the elevator and you could still hear the conversation. We actually heard it all the way down to the first floor.

Friday, August 22, 2008

The incident that caused my need to leave the bldg

Background informaiton on my co-worker.

This is a becky in her fifties. She only works 20 hrs. per week period.
She complains at her desk, while at the reference desk, and anyplace else
where she has an audience.
She complains about work, having to commute to work, her house, her property
taxes, the patrons, if she has to work extra time on the reference desk.

I hadn't been assigned to work with this woman on the reference desk for
months. Why you ask, because I complained about her not doing her job while
at the reference desk.

This past Monday, we were scheduled to work the reference desk together for the 11-12 hour. For the first 30 minutes, one of our regulars sat at one of the laptop tables and held a LOUD conversation on his cellular telephone. He was so loud, that I heard him clearly. Since he was sitting on her side of the room, I tried not to say anything to him or her.

After 20 minutes, I left the desk. I went in the back to rant to another co-worker(his desk is in front of hers.) I returned to the reference desk and sat through 10 more minutes of the guy talking on the cell phone and my co-worker giving patrons incorrect information.

I finally said, while getting up from my seat and walking over to wear the guy was, "YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN HEAR HIM AND I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU HAVEN'T SAID ANYTHING!"When I reached the guy, he of course had ended his call(He ended it the minute he saw me get up.) I told him,"YOU KNOW BETTER!" When I returned to the desk, this LAZY WOMAN said, "You know, you're much younger than me, so of course you heard him." I simply said, "If I could hear his whole conversation clearly, I know that you heard him." I saw this woman look at dude when he first began his conversation, they made eye contact and she turned her head.

She tried to make small talk with me after that, but I simply ignored her.

A glimpse at what management can and will do

Sally Stern-Hamilton’s controversial book, The Library Diaries, written under the pseudonym Ann Miketa, resulted in her termination July 25 as a Mason County (Mich.) District Library employee after 15 years on the job. Written in the first person and set in what she calls the Lake Michigan town of Denialville, the book, produced by print-on-demand publisher PublishAmerica, is a series of fictional vignettes about mostly unsavory characters encountered daily at the library....
Ludington (Mich.) Daily News, Aug. 9

This is one of my fears of what can happen while working in the library.

Police continue to look for a man suspected of sexually assaulting a 10-year-old girl in the restroom of the Riverview branch of the St. Paul (Minn.) Public Library August 13. Police say the man talked to the girl briefly before following her into a restroom in the basement. Officers obtained a search warrant for the library’s computers to see whether any of the users were sex offenders or matched the suspect’s description....
St. Paul (Minn.) Pioneer Press, Aug. 15

Monday, August 18, 2008

I needed to leave the building today

I let a co-worker get to me today. I got so irritated that I yelled at my co-worker while we were at the reference desk. I sent my supervisor an e-mail about the incident. When I saw him afterward, I just told him that I need to leave for a while. I decided to pick-up my lunch from the grocery store.

It's 7 blocks away, but it takes up to a 1/2 hour on public transportation each way. So I decided to take the underground train after waiting for 10 minutes at the island amongst cigarette smoke from either side of me. I thought, "I'll just go underground, at least they aren't allowed to smoke there."

The ride back is what reminded me of where I work. I thought that I would wait for the street car. I first notice the Bla*k Pa*es guy(bla*k pimp history) standing a little ways down on the island. You know how you just feel that someone is staring at you. I turned my head and there he was. That happened a few times, before I decided that I should take the underground train once again.

On my way to the underground entrance, who do I see sitting on the sidewalk bench waiting for the same streetcar: Web*ter's Colleg*ate Di*tionary guy. I thought, "Man, can I ever just leave work and not be reminded of that place!"

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Today's most memorable question

Patron: I want the address of the Church of Sa*an in this city.

I googled the church and it had moved to Hel*s Kit*hen in NYC. I told
the patron this and he still wanted the address.

Patron: I read about it in a book and I want the address.

I printed out the article that I found and gave it to him because there
was a line of patrons waiting to be helped.

The We*ster's Collegi*te Di*tionary guy from last Thursday came in today. When I saw him, I turned my head in the opposite direction. I had hoped that he wouldn't approach me.

Sure enough, he came over to me and said, "OH, IT'S YOU AGAIN!! That dictionary isn't over there." I pointed in the direction of where he should go to find a copy of the dictionary. I wasn't taking the time to search today. He tried to tell me how to do my job last week and I wasn't falling for it today.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Today's tidbits

A patron told me,"Truth can be found in Webster* Collegiat* Dictiona*y."

One of the older custodian's approached me at the reference desk and asked me, "What part of California are we in?".

I was stunned. I asked,"What are you talking about?".

He said it again, with clarification. "What part of California are we in, Northern or Southern?"

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Things seen, and said over the past few days

A man walking the floors holding a palm tree branch (almost the length of his
body,) while also holding a stuffed dog above his head and talking to it.


A man approached the reference desk and asked me for a internet pass so that he
could have extra time. I told him no, and was trying to explain this floors
policy regarding the passes. The patron began speaking over me and said,
"The other librarians give them freely."

My response, "I suggest you go ask another librarian."

The patron goes on to say, "It is your arrogance that is preventing you
from giving me a pass."

My response, "No." I proceeded to try to explain our policy. Once again the
patron began to speak over me."

He said, "Maybe the next time you will be kind and change your answer!"

I told him that my answer would remain the same and once again he began to
speak over me. I finally said, "YOU NEED TO ASK ANOTHER LIBRARIAN!"

A patron approached the desk and asked me if I could tell him where he could
find a book. He had the title and author written on a piece of paper.

I told him that I would first have to check the catalog, to see if we have
the book in our collection.


My response: I have to check the catalog in order to determine whether or
not there is a possiblity that we have the book.

He wanted a biography of a particular author. It turned out that the title he
had was for a collection of biographical essays.

He said, " I don't want biographical essays, I want a biography."

I explained that we had a biography on order, but the order had just been
placed at the beginning of this month.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

People who lie about their job title/duties irk me

Last Thursday, a new security guard began working here. Unfortunately for me, I already know him. I don't know him in a pleasant way either. For me, first impressions are lasting.

When I worked at the Department of Human Services as an Senior Eligibility Worker, this guy was a security guard. He didn't even last 6 months. His sister was a Security Supervisor and she had secured the job for him. How he and I met: I was calling a client for an appointment. Dude stepped to me and began asking me if I remembered him and he called me by name. He had me convinced that we had met before( this was a job where I kept running into people that I knew.) Before going into the meeting with my client, I really looked at dude; then I looked down at my badge, and I said, "You don't know me, and by pretending to, you will not ever get to know me." I was pissed to the highest point of pistivity. My co-worker who knew dude from way back, stepped to him and told him to get out of my face quickly!

This week, when I came to the reference desk to relieve a co-worker, he was having a conversation with her. Dude knew better than to speak to me( I had seen him when I arrived, and I spoke then.) If I don't like you, me speaking to you once per day is a stretch. Dude walked away when he saw me.

So, my co-worker says to me, "Yeah, he just said that he worked with you at DHS." I told her that he worked there briefly and I told her that we weren't co-workers, he was a security guard. I also told her that dude was fired. She was suprised that we weren't co-workers, because dude made it seem as if we were.

I broke dude down for my co-worker. I told her, " Dude got the security job at DHS through his sister's connections. He was fired because of harrassing the clients and the workers. He now has this job once again gained because of his sister's connections." I told her that it is probably only a matter of time before he loses this one." I think it's funny that since I know the lowdown on dude, he avoids me at all costs. I will only bust him out when I am asked about him. Unlike him, I not trying to tell people that I know him.

On to pages(shelvers) who tell their friends that they do reference work here. A months ago, a guy approached me at the reference desk and asked me if I knew his friend. I told him that I didn't recognize the name. He then told me that the guy worked in reference. I finally punched the name in the staff directory.
It turned out that the guy is a page on another floor.

Last week, I was in the staff elevator with the guy. He introduced himself to me and asked me where I worked. I told him that I worked on the 3rd floor. I then gave him further clarification because when they see an African American, they never think that the person just might be a librarian. The kicker: After I said that I was a librarian, the guy said, "Oh, I just started library school. I hope to be a librarian one day. This was my first semester and I only took online classes." Before I exited the elevator, I told the guy that he probably would become a librarian one day, but he would eventually have to actually sit in a classroom.

I never knew that being enrolled in a program automatically meant that you held the position for which you have to obtain the degree. The Beckies and Kens of the world seem to teach me new lessons everyday.

Internet access

Yes, we have internet access for the public. If you have a library card, you are allowed 1 hour per day on the internet. We also have 15 minute express terminals. You can use the express terminals as much as you like. You aren't required to log onto these terminals. You are required to wait in line. Use of the express terminals is on a first come, first serve basis. With that said, let's move on to today.

A patron was mad because he couldn't download and upgrade for his MP3 player from the computer. I explained to him that the download capacity of the public computers is limited because of security purposes. I also explained that yes, downloading music onto an MP3 player is possible, but upgrades aren't. Needless to say, the patron was heated.

Another patron got mad because he was limited on the amount of altering he could do on a document that he had saved on his flash drive. Once again, I tried to explain that services are limited.

With public access computers comes abuse. It is hard to explain to patrons that the computers wear out more frequently. The IT department is slowly replacing the public computer in all branches in this system. Because of the upgrade, IT has asked that we not call them about the day to day problems. Explaining that a solution to the problem will not be immediate can sometimes cause an outburst.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Two posts in one day

I was at the reference desk for two hours straight.

1. A woman approached the desk and says, "Have the rules changed at the library? The last time I was here, I thought you still couldn't eat in the library."

I asked her, "Did you just see someone eating?"

She said, " There is a whole table eating over there."

I walk over to the area she indicated. Oh boy, are they eating. They had an open package of generic o*eo cookies, sandwiches, and sodas. I informed them that eating wasn't allowed in the library. They said in unison, "Oh, okay. Just let me finish this." I watched them finish what they had in their hands and grab even more.

I went back to the reference desk and called security. I also called the lirarian at the international desk. I told her, "Maybe if you go over and explain to them why they can't eat in the library, they will understand."

She went over there, spoke with them, and they began packing up their goodies.

2. All of the ADA Computers were in use. Well a gentleman wanted to use a computer right away. He didn't want to wait. My boss offered to give him a temporary pass. He didn't want a temporary pass because they are only good for one hour. He said, " You can use the ADA computers for two hours, you can't give me two passess?" The ADA librarian finally gave in and agreed to give him two passess.

I told my boss,"Now that he has been allowed two passess, he will no longer settle for one."

3. A guy bypassed my boss to ask me a question. I didn't realize until I began
helping him, that I have helped him before. Why does this man think that his search in anyway would make anyone attracted to him?

He wanted books on mind control. He asked, "What can I do if the book is on the
HOLDSHELF?" I began showing him how to locate alternative sources for the books
that he wanted. As I was searching on the computer, dude was looking me up and
down, just giving me the creeps. After I showed him how he could check out a
book from another library, he said, "I think that I am just going to finish
reading the book that I have right here!"

First of all, why would you even think that I might want someone who is seeking instruction on how to control the mind of another?

Today's Message

My first hour on the reference desk. There is a patron standing near a bank of internet access computers and he is telling everyone who walks in his general direction the rules for unassigned computer use.

Once the time lasped for the person who was assigned the computer where he was standing, he yelled a play by play for another patron. He was telling the others when they could begin their attempt to log onto the computer. He also let them know at which point he was successfully logged onto the computer.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

As I was walking toward the entrance this morning.......

One of the toothless regulars said, " BACK TO THE HAPPY HAPPY PLACE I SEE!" I said, " Oh yeah( in dull tone.)"

Sunday, July 27, 2008

It's 12:55 p.m.

I was walking toward the reference desk. The librarian who I was replacing said as she was walking by, "They are all here today!"

I still held out some glimmer of hope that just maybe, she might be wrong. Surely they decided that the library wasn't the place to be. There's Farmer's Market today, couldn't they loiter there and beg for food.

No such luck, all were here.

At 4:10 p.m., while I was helping a patron search for some books, a man (Ken) stood in front of my face an demanded that I tell the people using the computer near him to SHUT UP!!! I told the man that I was helping a patron and I would go near him when I was done.

When I was done, I looked where he was and didn't hear or see anything unusual. About 4:20 p.m., the same man walked past me and said, "THE SAME PEOPLE ARE STILL TALKING LOUDLY, BUT I GUESS THAT I JUST WON'T USE A COMPUTER TODAY!!!"

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

As I was leaving the reference desk yesterday evening

I saw two pre-teens posing and taking camera phone shots........This was being done while they were awaiting their scheduled time on the computer.

Another odd thing that happened yesterday.

We have a regular who is obsessed with the Oxford English Dictionary. He calls as soon as we open and asks us to look up words and give him the etymology. They are never big or difficult words. We have learned to piece the words together and get an idea of what is bothering him that day, because he calls all day long. He also comes in daily to look the same words that he called us about up himself.

When he approached me yesterday, he said, " I have something different to ask you and it's not about OED." I said without even looking up from the computer, "That's because you've probably already looked up something and called for clarification!" He laughed, and went on to ask me, "I want to write a murderer, can you find the correspondence information for me?"

He didn't have a name, but the guy was featured on an episode of dat*line. I don't remember the name. I should have typed this yesterday. The guy and two or three others had murdered their math teacher when they were teenagers. I found the information, printed it out and gave it to him. He was so happy, it was weird.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

I can't undestand this.....just why

Walking toward the entrance to the building this morning, I noticed one of the security guards posted near a tree. He was on his cell phone, he is always talking on his cell phone. Whenever I was past him and hear bits of the conversation, it seems as if it's an intimate conversation.

Now over the past month, I learned that his main squeeze works on my floor. I always wondered why he came up here to sit with her every morning. So get this, they live together, they work in the same building. The talking on the telephone constantly all day. He whispers, she talks loud enough for you to hear exactly what she is saying when walking past the aisle where she sits.

The is the same woman who stinks. Whenever I make the mistake of entering the bathroom after her, my first thought always is, "she should incorporate more water into her diet."

Back to what I can't understand......What is so important that you have to talk throughout the day on the telephone......Each and every break is spent together.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Last Thursday.......

Two men were speaking loudly, I approached them and asked that they lower their voices. This knee grow waved me off and told me that he was speaking in a low voice( I give folks 2 times to act up before I call security.)

I walked back to the reference desk and called for security to send someone to walk the floor. Meanwhile, the two men kept talking loudly. I finally saw a security guard on the floor and I approached the men again.

This time, dude who was speaking the loudest said, "THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY DON'T HAVE ANY POWER!" My response, "I guess you must really want to leave the building!" Dude then turns to me and says, "I AM LEAVING!!!"

I walked to the end of the table where they were sitting and waited for dude to leave. This knee grow walked pass me as close as he could without touching me and said while looking at my badge, "YOU DON'T EVEN WORK HERE!"

At that point, the security guard begain walking towards me. All I did was point to the individual who had been giving me problems.

The guard returned to the floor 5 minutes later to inform me that it was the same guy that he had told to lower his voice when he entered the building. They had words, and the guard ended up telling him, "If I have to tell you to lower your voice again, YOU WILL BE LEAVING THE BUILDING FOR THE DAY!" He said that when he entered the elevator, he asked dude what happpened. He said that dude told him, "She said that I was talking too loud." The guard said that he then told him, "You probably were, so you know that you have to leave." The guard then escorted him out of the building.

The patron's friend, who was sitting across from him during the entire time, then approached the desk and said, "I'm looking for my friend, did you see where he went?"

I told him that his friend had to leave the building. He proceeded to walk the floor, "looking for his friend."

Sunday, July 06, 2008

I was dismissed by a patron today!

A elderly patron sat down at an internet computer near the reference desk. I kept hearring sh*t, followed by mumbling.
Finally, after 10 minutes of cursing and mumbling at the terminal; the man came to the desk and told me that he wanted another computer.
I asked him what was wrong? He told me that the compuer just wouldn't act right. He said that the internet window wouldn't open.
I went to his terminal and saw that the internet was working just fine. He had reduced the size of the window and opened the sidebar search option. I closed the sidebar, and enlarged the window.
I asked him where he was trying to go,and he told me his e-mail.
I was finally able to get the e-mail provider information out of him.
I typed the ya*oo in the bowser. I was trying to wait and make sure that the page loaded, but.....The old geezer sat down in front of the terminal and told me....."OKAY, YOU CAN GO NOW!!!"

Thursday, July 03, 2008

When Librarians meet...

Last weekend, I attended the annual librarian's convention. It was held in Southern California and one of my friends invited me to meet her there and share her room.

The running joke all weekend was how easy it was to spot the librarians. Even if they weren't carrying the bright orange bag that was given to us upon registration.

The bulk of the women dress as if they shop from the Chic*s catalog. The ones who try to dress up, look like they have added granny pumps to a Dres* Bar* special edition suit. Let's not forget to include the younger librarians who think they can now be a part of the cool kids club. You might see a lot of tats, there may even be a few sleeves sprinkled in here and there. Amongst them will be those dressed in goth attire, skater gear, or the left over grunge look.

Where do I fit in, fortunately for me, none of the above. Upon inspection at the convention, I no longer get upset when a patron approaches me at the reference desk and asks me if I am a reference librarian.

I even met a woman this past weekend who said, " I am thankfuly that you don't resemble what is considered the norm for a librarian."

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

I return to work only to find.....

The support staff placed a moldy book on my desk for me to decide what to do with it. I would've taken a picture, but I was trying to get it off my desk as soon as possible.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I was in a rush.......

I had been in a meeting from 9:00 a.m. until about 1:05 p.m. I was scheduled to be on the reference desk at 2:00 p.m. I wanted to eat lunch. I decided to purchase a bag of chips from Wal*reens, and a sandwich from Sub*ay. Everything was going well, until the woman ahead of me began to order. She was ordering 7 sandwiches, each one,a special order. I finally left the shop at 1:35 p.m. I was trying to rush back to work...........

1st obstacle: 5 feet from the Su*way, a man shook an empty cup at me and demanded,

I said while shaking my head, " NO!"

2nd obstacle: Not 5 feet from the first obstacle. A man came walking toward me
fast. He had on a shirt that was straining to be set free. His
sweatpants waistband was stretched, almost to the breaking point.
His stomach was wedged in between the shirt and the pants. He had
his hand outstretched while walking toward me.


I said, "Um, NO(while chringing at the same time!)

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

You can miss a lot in the span of two days

June 13th:
A father/son duo beat a man in the mens restroom. The victim's crime---he refused to give up his i*od. The father escaped and left his son to take the fall.
More lice were detected on the 5th floor. I guess the lice are "moving on up."

June 14th:
A woman reported that she had to break a chair leg and use it to defend herself. It has been said that she used the chair leg to beat a male paton in the head. The woman said she feared for her life and had to defend herself. The alledged attacker wasn't ever captured. The bloody chair leg can be seen in the security office.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Black Star Power

There was a woman walking into the building in front of me this morning. I did notice that she had on new Ba*y P*at Jeans,a red short sleeved jacket, with some kind of red shirt. What threw me off, was the busted slingback flats. I remembered where I was, and kept it moving.

The above mentioned woman, stopped to greet one of the security guards and proceeded to walk toward the elevators.

As I was walking to toward the elevators, I said a silent prayer that I would have the luxury of an empty car. No such luck. The Lady in red spotted the same elevator that I had my eye on. Behind her, followed three very strange looking and smelling patrons.

So, I entered the elevator, pressed the button for my floor and proceeded to wait for the car to move.

What it is that I saw out of the corner of my eye ( because the side of my face was burning,) ol' girl was staring at me hard. She was checking me from head to toe. She was still staring when I exited the elevator. She saw my badge, so she knew that I work here. What was the problem you might ask, my outfit looks better than old girl without even trying. Chocolate Gold 2" Hoops, Chocolate Brown Scoop Neck Top, Wide Leg Jeans, Burberry Wedge Thong Espadrills, Brown Marc Jacobs Hobo, Brown Marc Jacobs shades, last but not least my hair is a hot red curly fro. If looks could freeze frame, that would have been me forevevr stuck in the public elevator #2.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

It has taken 10 days since they were first detected, but...........

To All Main Staff:

As part of lice cleanup, IT staff is at this moment removing computers from the tables on the fourth floor where lice were sighted.

To be prudent, IT staff will don white tyvek body suits and gloves, since they will have to work closely around the tables. I am informing you of this to avoid any concerns that the presence of staff in tyvek suits indicates a toxic spill or other chemical emergency. It does not! The body suits and gloves are simply a precaution against the possibility of a crawling bug.

Removing the computer equipment will allow our staff and Pestec, our pest control subcontractor, to really saturate the tables with disinfectant. On top of this, Pestec will steam clean the tables this evening after closing. We’ll continue monitoring the area and will let you know as soon as the problem is cleared up.

The computers and related equipment will be bagged and quarantined for a long enough period to ensure that the bugs are dead, before the equipment goes back in service.

Thank you.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

What the 4th floor isn't telling

Last week, I learned that a group of public computers on the 4th floor have an infestation of lice.........HOW DID I LEARN OF THIS YOU MIGHT ASK?????

One of the staff members on the 4th floor sent an e-mail to the woman who sits behind me, detailing the problem. My co-worker shared the information with me and I asked her why they hadn't shared that information with the whole building.

Their excuse: They didn't want the whole building in a STATE OF PANICK!!!!!

Today, I learned that one of their managers finally thought to share their problem with the woman who heads the whole library.

Now, the 4th is unavailable to the public.

Monday, June 09, 2008

It's hot here today and that doesn't happen oftern

Hot for my city is 78 degrees. I know that's probably cool for some of you, but it's hot for us. A few weeks ago, when it was in the 90's, one of my co-workers summed the situation for our city up in this manner.

He said, " When it gets hot here, people seem to wear the strangest items of clothing. It may have been in style and cute at one point in time. Since they don't get a chance to wear it often, it has remained in their closet. We see all types of bodies exposed that should not ever see the light of day."

For Example: We have a man who wears swim trunks, a jacket unzipped to the waist(chest exposed,) knee high tube socks and tennis shoes. He will walk around in here all day.

Update: Yesterday's highest temperature was 85 degrees.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Management's response to Ben and his family members

To All Staff:

You may be familiar with Laura Numeroff’s famous children’s book, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.

Well, we have a similar story to tell about our library facilities, but it goes something like this: If you give a mouse a cookie, or the old baloney sandwich you left on your work station, the Doritos in your desk drawer, the pizza crust in the staff kitchen sink, or the leftover cake from the staff party, the mouse will inform all his or her mousie friends, who will all move into your office space, eat the food, and have large mousie families. At which point there will probably be a lot of mice, and a lot of staff “Eeeeking!” Followed by phone calls to Custodial and Engineering.

The only reason mice enter libraries is to eat. Staff have not observed mice reading or using computers yet.

What You Can Do:
1. Keep ALL your food in HARD containers. No exceptions. Mice will eat right through plastic bags. Hard plastic Tupperware containers will work, metal is best, and tight lids that keep odors in are good.
2. Do NOT leave open food in your desk drawers. The mice will get in there.
3. Be sure to clean up after staff parties, do not leave food out at night.
4. Wipe down counters and sinks in staff kitchen areas.
5. Clean microwaves and toasters!
6. If you see a food mess that is too much to deal with, please notify your custodian or call the custodial office for clean up at 4376, or 4377.
7. If you notice a recurring problem area, please also file a reqform with Custodial on Staffnet.
8. Do report all mouse sightings.

What Facilities Does:
1. Engineering and Custodial keep a written log of phone calls, emails, and reqforms regarding mice.
2. The above problems are reported to the City approved pest control contractor, Pestec.
3. Pestec services the Main weekly, or more frequently when required, and 190 and branches as needed, plus spot checks at all facilities to look for undetected activity.
4. Custodial has redeployed custodians to increase the amount of trash picked up before closing.
5. Custodial has also increased efforts to tidy problem areas, including the Main trash compactor.
6. We do our best to respond to your requests for pest service, and we value your suggestions in controlling this problem.

FYI -The City has legislation requiring Integrated Pest Management (which Pestec conforms to). The legislation is the CITY AND COUNTY ENVIRONMENT CODE Codified through Ord. No. 52-08, File Number 071672, approved March 21, 2008.

Facilities Director

Monday, June 02, 2008

I've been adopted

One of the custodians who regularly services our floor has decided to make me his new friend.

Last week, I had a bag of cookies on my desk( I had made some Macadamia Chocolate Chip cookies,) and he spied them as he was emptying the recycle cans. He said(not asked,) "LET ME HAVE ONE OF THOSE!" I said, "They could be NASTY!" He said, "I trust you, you're clean!" Yes, the cookies were good, but I just couldn't believe that he asked for one. I only had two left, so he proceeded to eat the one I gave him at my desk.

This afternoon, he entered through the door near my cubicle. He said, "I guess that I should look at those bathrooms." I said, "Yeah, they're probably nasty right about now." He then said, "I can't believe some people go days with out cleaning the bathrooms. I am going to start taking pictures." I said, "Put them on BLAST!" His response was, "I'm going to put the pictures on the internet!"

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Well, well, well

I arrived to work this past Sunday morning to find two more book trucks filled with dirty old tired books. The reason for my new blessing was tucked away in the office e-mail. Our floor manager forwarded the minutes from last week's manager's meeting.

Our dear old floor manager told a big one. He announced in the May 21st meeting that our floor had finished processing all of the books in storage. You see, the dear old man is retiring next month and he doesn't anyone to talk about the shape he left this department in. Needless to say, it means that he is pushing work on us without warning.

When I saw the additional trucks, I said, "They could have just thrown these books out!" Spines were gone, broken, and torn badly, beyond repair. The pages were all shades of gray, some even boderline black(you know what that means.)

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

This is what I get for leaving work early yesterday!

This is what was in front of my cubicle when I arrived to work today. I am supposed to go through each and every one of these and determine if we should keep it or toss it. I feel like chucking the whole cart. They are VERY DUSTY and some look as if they will fall apart as soon as I touch them.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

My Wednesday at work ended on a negative note

Nine out of ten times, I usually upset a patron when they ask for something and I refuse to do it.

Well, we have temporary passes for use of the computer. They are only given out if something goes terribly wrong with the computer. If the computer has stopped working properly because of patron error, they aren't automatically given a pass, so that they can have additional time on the computer(This seems to be only a rule on my floor, according to the patrons.)

So this old Becky asked for my assistance with her computer. She said that it was acting up. I saw that she had done something to the computer, but I couldn't figure out what, so I just rebooted it. As I was rebooting the computer, she asked, "Can I have one of those numbers?"
I said, "No."

She thought that I didn't understand her, because her next statement was this. "I mean one of those temporary passes." I said, " I know what you meant and I am not going to give you one."

She then said, "WHY NOT? I HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT NICE TO YOU!" I began to say, " It's not the policy........." She cut me off and yelled even louder, "SOMEONE IS GOING TO GIVE ME A PASS NOW!" I tried to explain that she still had 35 minutes left on her card and she didn't need a pass. She kept yelling, so I walked back to the reference desk. She promptly marched over to my co-worker(another old Becky.)

My coworker to her to just use another computer, once the one that she had been on had finished rebooting.

This woman waited until I left the desk, then asked my replacement how to go about filing a formal compliment.

If you hear loud voices, or any type of commotion, check the 3rd Floor first.

It is a running joke that our floor is the one where the most incidents occur. This happened about two weeks ago.

A half shim approached me at the reference desk( half because he had on all male clothes, pumps, and his long blonde wig was twisted.) You could tell that this was a man who had just thrown on a wig. You could see his bad attempt at streaks. His natural hair looked as if instead of blonde streaks, he got blonde dots. He had shaved his head a bit, but the spots were still obvious and the wig just wasn't covering it.

Now he complained that he was being harassed while sitting in the Gay/Lesbian Center. My boss was at the desk with me, and we thought it may have been a regular who doesn't like anyone to be in the center while he is in there.

My boss went into the center and spoke with the man who was in there. He asked him to leave because it had been reported that he was harassing another patron.

Two minutes later, a man comes walking past the reference desk. As he is walking by, he is yelling, "I F**KS WIT B*TCHES, I DON'T FU**S WIT MEN! YOU BETTA GET THAT STRAIGHT, I FU**S WIT B*TCHES, NOT MEN!"

I turned to my boss and said, "Oh, I guess that's why he was hanging out in the Gay/Lesbian Center and harassing a shim!"

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

What happens when security doesn't do what they are called to do?

Last week, I just happened to be in the staff area behind the reference desk. A female patron was cursing at a male librarian and calling him everthing but his birth name.

Following proceedure, the librarian called security so that the patron could be escorted from the building.

Security arrived, dude determined that the patron was cute, and said, "Oh, okay, I'll help you."

That was the second incident in two weeks, where the security guard decided the patron was cute, so she was allowed a free pass from acting out.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

My new quest

Last week, I thought it was a fluke. It happened again today. Now, I am on a mission to find this patron and get them banned from the library.

There is a bank of 5 computers in the back corner of our floor( I am told that a section like this exist on the 5th floor also.) It is a section were the perverts usually hang. A patron approached me Thursday afternoon. She couldn't log onto the computer. I went over there and discovered that the patron who used the computer prior, had disconnected all of the wires. This was annoying more than anything. I reconnected the wires, turned the computer on, and walked away.

Fast forward to today. A patron complained that she couldn't log onto the computer. This time, it looked as if everything was intact, but there was no connection to the server. I submitted a req. form and called a technician. The technician discovered that the ethernet cable had been disconnected and then tangled into the other cables. The technician was frustrated because he first had to untangle the cables, then reconnect them.

The technician advised me to locate the patron and explain the seriousness of the crime. He also said to explain that the patron would be banned if the behavior continued. I told the technician that I was one step ahead of him and had already set the wheels in motion to catch our thoughtful patron.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Words that women just love to hear, NOT!

Said as I was approaching the entrance to the library this morning........."Mmm mmm, you look real good." All said by a grimy looking bum who is here everyday that I'm here. Thankfully, he isn't always on the floor that I work on. Please believe that he is always outside waiting for those doors to open.

I always wonder, "What makes a bum think that I long to hear anything lustful come out of his mouth in reference to ME?"

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Six quirks/events of mine........I was tagged

1. Link the person who tagged you.... I was tagged by
  • Opinionated Diva

  • 2. Mention the rules in your blog.
    3. Tell about 6 quirks/events of yours.
    4. Tag 6 bloggers by linking them.
    5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged bloggers blogs, letting them know that they have been

    1. I hate to drive/commute! I will if I have to, but I am never happy when driving long

    2. I don't (gasp) eat watermelon. When I was 10, my dad forced me to eat the equivalent of one
    very large watermelon. I ate so much that I was sick. I am reminded of that incident each
    and every time I see watermelon.

    3. My sister was pure evil to me while I was growing up (she is 7 years older.) Her payback has
    been that once her oldest daughter turned 13, she began to resemble me more and more.

    4. It irritates me when people who have jobs with generous benefit plans don't get their grills

    5. If I see someone I know and it is obvious that they don't recognize me, rest assured, I will not
    try to make them notice me. I am good for avoiding aunts/cousins in the mall, the bank, etc.

    6. About 17 years ago, I sufferred a concussion. A young man attempted to mug me outside of
    my appartment. I refussed to release my hold on my purse. Because of my resistence, I
    was drug a few feet. My neighbors at the time were nosey as all get out, but not one of them
    came to their windows that night. I got up, went inside and called 911 myself.

    ****I am not tagging anyone else.****

    Wednesday, April 23, 2008

    Ben siting at your local libary

    Monday night, I was on the reference desk for the last hour before closing. After the closing annoucement and the last patron had left the floor, I did my usual. I went to the restroom before preparing to go home.

    On my way back to my desk from the restroom, who/what do I spot running from the compact book stacks to the support staff area, but non other than Ben. He was moving REAL FAST!!!

    I was both shocked and surprised. I have heard the rumors, but I had never seen any proof.

    After telling my co-worker yesterday, he asked, "So, did you scream?" Of course I didn't.

    He went on to say that our co-workers had reported seeing quite a few since the renovations of the first floor occurred. I replied, " Gee, thanks for that visual."

    Race, class, entitlement

    A man walked up to the reference desk and threw the information slip that we give out regarding cellular telephone use on our floor on the desk in front of me. He then stated, " I DON'T SEE WHAT THE DIFFERENCE IS."

    I was working on the computer, so I stopped and looked at the patron. I then said, " What are you talking about."

    Patron: "That! I don't see a difference."

    Me: "A difference, what are you talking about."

    Patron: "Talking in the library."

    Me: "What do you mean? Do you mean the difference between someone talking on a cellular telephone and what?"

    Patron: "Between talking on a cell phone and just talking loudly!" Those people next to me are talking loudly.

    * I didn't hear anything at the desk. I walked over to where he was sitting and didn't hear anything on my way over there. Yes, three people were talking, but they were speaking in low tones and even when standing next to then, I couldn't hear them clearly.

    So the first thing I said to the patron is, " You should have just told me that you had a problem with the people talking next to you, instead of throwing that sheet of paper in my face( my head was facing down and he threw the paper in a way in which it landed directly in my line of vision.)

    We went back and forth on that for a minute. Since I didn't hear anything, I told him so and returned to the desk. Here is where race, class, and entitlement comes into the picture.

    The patron was melanin challenged and middle aged. The people he complained about were an African American male, a melanin challenged woman, her melanin challenged son, and the couple's biracial infant. They looked to be late twenties to early thirties. The woman's son was a teenager. The patron bypassed a melanin challenged librarian in order to approach me. At that point, I maintained the opposite side of the room from where he was sitting. He insisted that I check on his complaint. He was fuming when I didn't see things his way.

    Thursday, April 17, 2008

    My post just for Opinionated Diva

    A while back, you suggested that I use a mask when dealing with the old dusty and sometimes moldy books. Well, I have been having trouble with my asthma lately(no attacks, just tightness in the lung area.) My allergist and the nurse who is assigned to help you manage my asthma have both advised me that I must wear a mask whenever examining the books.

    The last thing the nurse said was something for me to seriously consider. She said, "Maybe this isn't the best place for you to work."

    As a sophomore in college, I worked as a library page. I worked at one of the older branches. The place was dusty and moldy. After about 9 months of working there, I decided to get tested for allergies. The results were that I was allergic to all grasses, dust, dust mites, all animals, and all trees. I quit that job and began working various office jobs.

    I still like working in the field of libary science, but I will probably seek out something behind the scenes. It is probably time for me to stop dealing with patrons and books on a daily basis.

    Tuesday, April 15, 2008

    One thing I hate, oh so much

    Being kind and courteous no matter what.

    A patron walks up to you at the reference desk, no problem right? Wrong. The patron is filthy. You see dirt all over the face, the clothes seem as if they've never seen soap nor water; and to top it off, the worst of all, the hands and fingernails are black.

    The patron asks you a reference question, and you must answer without showing the obvious disgust on your face.

    Wednesday, April 09, 2008

    Piss Alley

    That is what I deemed one section on our floor yesterday. On one side of the reference desk, it seemed as if all of the regulars who seem to have bladder problems decided to sit real close to each other.

    The only way to avoid the horrible smell was to walk all the way around the area. In lieu of that, I tried to hold my breath while I walked past.

    Wednesday, April 02, 2008

    How many parents does it take to bring a teenager to a FREE SAT workshop?

    The answer must be plenty. This system offers free SAT workshops to high school juniors and seniors twice yearly. It never fails, for the first session, more parents than teenagers show up. The parents were running around trying to get directions to the meeting room where the session would be held. The teens on the other hand were casually walking in circles. I finally approached the teens and told them where they needed to be.

    That was Sunday. Monday was a holiday for our school district. There was a parent in here with her child, but the parent was completing the homework assignment. The child was looking on clueless.

    Sunday, March 23, 2008

    I know you been thinking about me

    This is what a patron said when he approached me at the reference desk.

    I asked him to repeat himself. I gave him a very odd look and said,
    The patron said, "You are looking at me as if I have lost my mind."

    That is exactly what I was thinking!

    He goes on to say that he is looking for a book that he can't find because we keep moving books on this floor.

    The patron told me the title of the book that he was looking for, but because he was trying to sound sexy and whisper, I couldn't quite understand what he was saying. Finally, it dawned on me that dude was trying to flirt. I said, "IF IT IS THE SAME BOOK THAT I HELPED YOU FIND BEFORE, IT IS IN THE SAME PLACE IT WAS THE LAST TIME THAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR IT."
    Patron: Yeah, it's a three volume set and if you aren't familiar with it, you need to familiarize
    yourself with it.

    Me: Yeah well, it's right over there were it has been since the books were shifted.

    I guess I was supposed to be turned on because this fool comes into the library to read
    Universal Seduction.

    Wednesday, March 19, 2008

    I have debated with myself in regards to this post

    Last week, the staff was in shock due to what occurred the previous Friday. Not one, but two overdoses.

    #1 11:00 a.m. outside the building on the stairs surrounding the building. Paramedics weren't
    able to revive the idividual.

    #2 Found at 6:05 p.m. in the 1st flr Men's Restroom by a custodian. Paramedics were called and
    once again, they weren't able to revive the individual.

    I had never known it to be so bad around here in one day. Thursday of last week, I received an e-mail from a friend of mine who manages a branch library in a neighboring city. The contents of that e-mail took me back to my days of working as a Children's Librarian in the hood.

    She wrote:

    Nexgrl, I am so sorry that I haven't called or responded to your e-mail, but it has
    been quite hectic around here. The was a major drug bust at one of the houses
    across the street. They arrested a lot of men and confiscated a lot of product and
    weapons. The police had the streets surrounding the library blocked and we were
    not permitted to leave the premisis for quite some time.
    (the next paragraph is what did it for me)

    That same week, a man attempted to rape an elderly woman inside the library. He
    tried to drag her down the stairs into the basement. We heard her screams, called the
    police and the library assistant ran after the assailant. He caught him, and held him until
    the police arrived.
    I was so sad for my friend and what everyone had gone through, especially the elderly
    woman. This week, one of my co-workers told me that my friend's brand new Children's
    Librarian quit on the spot because she didn't like the way the attempted rape was handled
    by staff (Clearly, this is a woman who only took the job working in the hood until something
    better came along. She just didn't expect to see violence up close and personal.) Prior to
    hiring that woman, my friend had gone about six months working as the only librarian
    because no one wanted to take a job working at that branch.

    ***Update: My friend sent me another e-mail. She wanted to clarify. Her former Children's
    Librarian was raised in the same neighborhood as the library is located. She was never
    exposed to that type of violence, having only gone to private schools. I went to private
    schools also, but I saw all kinds of stuff going to and from school.

    Monday, March 17, 2008

    Just wrong for no reason

    Today has been a succession of patrons approaching me with the wrong information.

    1. Patron: Do you have anything on syrian theology

    Me: Do you know how to spell syrian (at that point, I didn't know what she was saying.)

    Patron: I think that it is s-y-r-i-c.

    I did a quick google search to see if I could figure out what she was talking about. I gave
    the patron the correct spelling.

    Patron: I read about it and I want more information.

    Everything that I found was a reference copy only and the patron got ticked with me. I told her
    good luck and walked away.

    2. Patron: I can't seem to find this book. Can you look in the computer and see if the book is
    I conducted a search in the online catalog and no such number is in the system.

    Me: Do you know the title of the book?

    Patron: NO!

    Me: I am only asking because this call number is either not complete, or it is wrong.


    Me: Do you know what the subject is?

    Patron: Hispanic prison gangs, I am writing a..........(I stopped her and said, "I don't need to
    know all of that, I just need the subject that you are looking for.")

    I found the correct call number for the book that she wanted. I then walked with her over to the section and pulled the book off the shelf for her.

    Patron: I ALREADY HAVE THAT BOOK! I told that librarian that I already have that title.

    There were other books with similar subject matter, so I showed her how to look in the index for her subject. She still had the same funky attitude, so I walked away.

    There were a few others, but those two stood out. Maybe the fact that they copped an attitude as soon as I showed them their error was the reason they nor I was having any luck.

    Sunday, March 09, 2008

    Sometimes I wish this stuff was make believe

    This man approached me at the reference desk. He had headphones on his head, the kind they wore in the 70's, while listening to the stereo. The chord was just drapped around his neck. He said...........WHY DO ALL THE CLOCKS AROUND HERE SAY 1:00 something, isn't it daylight savings or something like that.

    My response: Yes

    Patron: Shouldn't the clocks reflect 2:00 something?

    Me: No, they have the correct time.

    Patron: Are you sure, shouldn't they change the clocks.

    Me: They obviously changed the clocks.

    Patron: While looking at this cellular telephone. Well, I guess my phone must have changed on
    it's own.

    My co-worker looked at me and burst out laughing. I told her that I can't believe my friends think I make this stuff up?????

    Monday, March 03, 2008

    Strange is never ending

    Yesterday afternoon, I was at the reference desk with my supervisor. I was telling him about an article I was reading online. A patron walks past and tells me to SHUT UP! Just in case I wasn't sure, he looked me dead in my face.

    The same patron proceeded to walk around the reference desk. He was eyeing women up and down as he walked.

    My supervisor asked me what I wanted to do. I told him that I wanted to see if there was something wrong with the patron. My supervisor went in search of the patron. As the patron rounded the reference desk for the second time, he looked at me and placed his index finger to his lips and said, "Ssshhh." He then went to a table not far from me to sit down.

    My supervisor began to question the patron about his actions. The patron began yelling and telling my supervior that maybe he needed to go downstairs and speak with security.

    I called security and told them to send someone up so that they could escort the patron out of the building.

    I was helping another patron when security arrived. On my way back to the reference desk, I passed the security guard, my supervisor, and the patron talking. Dude had the nerve to say as I was passing that he did not tell me to shut up. I did that 'Linda Blair' turn, with my hands on my hips and said, "YES, YOU DID TELL ME TO SHUT UP!" The security guard peeped my attitude, and told the patron, "Let's go."

    That's is only one incident, it was like that all afternoon yesterday.

    Tuesday, February 26, 2008

    The ugly part of my job

    I know some of you may think that there's no risk in librarianship.

    I was chilling at my desk this morning, surfing the internet and what not. The floor manager calls(my telephone almost never rings,) he asked me to meet him at the reference desk. I panicked, thinking that the desk schedule had been changed and I was supposed to be out there working.................WRONG!

    The floor manager and one of the full-time pages asked me to follow them into the stacks. We w walked toward the books that are in my ordering section. I'm thinking that a patron must have destroyed some of the books and just left them lying on the floor.

    They both pointed to a stain on the ceiling. The manager pulled a book from the shelf and showed it to me. The pages were BLACK. There were a total of ten books with BLACK MOLD. Obviously, the leak was there long before I arrived at this job. Because that is my section, I had to notate the book information so that I could attempt to re-order the titles.

    Monday, February 25, 2008

    After a 3 day break

    My first hour on the desk this morning. One of the public terminals had an 'Out of Order' sign posted. A patron looked at the sign, and proceeded to move it and examine the monitor. I walked over to the terminal and told the patron, " The sign is posted for a reason." I returned the sign to the original position. The patron's response, "You don't even know what I did!"

    I said, "I saw you move the sign and look at the screen." I returned to the reference desk.

    2 minutes passed. I received a call from the computer room. They informed me that the problem had been corrected on the 'Out of Order' terminal. I went over to the terminal and removed the sign.....................................The same offending patron said to me, "I THOUGHT THE SIGN WAS POSTED FOR A REASON!!!!"

    I turned slightly and said, "It was posted for a reason, but I received a telephone call, tellling me that the problem had been fixed. IF YOU MUST KNOW THE REASON!!!!"

    As soon as I returned to the desk, my co-worker said, "I knew he was going to get it the minute he said something smart to you."

    Sunday, February 17, 2008

    What's that smell?????

    Let me start by saying that I have a serious sinus headache today. I probably should have stayed at home, but I just couldn't do it.

    Everything was fine the first hour. Halfway into the second hour, it began to smell like the office had turned into a sewage plant. The engineers had the nerve to proclaim that it's not bad. My boss sent out an e-mail and it has been discovered that the smell is in the work area on three out of six floors.

    So the smell in the back was messing with my sinuses. I get on the floor and two teenage girls sit near the reference desk and proceed to talk and giggle loudly during my first hour on the desk. For the first half hour, I tried to suck it up. I was thinking that the noise level seemed louder to me because of the headache. Finally, I had to say something to them. To my surprise, all of the adults looked at me with relief on their faces.

    Wednesday, February 13, 2008

    I'm amazed at least once per week. And that is an understatement!

    Yesterday evening, while trying to exit the employee exit/entrance, I couldn't get the door open. I pushed once, I pushed even harder the second time. The person behind me said, "What's the problem? Is there someone standing there?" By the second question, I had proceeded to open the other side of the door. My answer was, "Yes!"

    There was a man hovering near the security scan. He was urinating! There were three of us who exited the building. A couple was walking past and the woman said to me, "You should have pushed REAL HARD, knocking that fool over."

    Thursday, February 07, 2008

    They say that I will get used to this behavior, but I think NOT!!

    A patron calls, they want to know if a particular book can be located. I place the patron on hold. I look on all of the shelves and all of the book trucks because there are tons. It can take anywhere from 2 to 10 minutes, it depends on the call number............The book is finally found, I return to the desk.............the patron has hung up.

    Sometimes they call back while you are on the desk, sometimes they don't. Today, the woman called back with some excuse about her cell phone died (she spoke with my co-worker.) She then called back ten minutes later to request another book.

    This time, I told her that I was helping a patron. I took her telephone number and told her that I would call her back once I found the book.

    Sunday, February 03, 2008

    One of the regulars got mad at me and left!

    I wasn't offended, it didn't make me mad, I just laughed.

    One of the regulars who never wants to leave the floor until everyone else has, kept talking loudly. At first, I thought he was talking to someone, that is until I walked toward him. He looked my way as I got closer to him and I (in typical librarian fashion,) placed my index fingers over my lips.

    The patron lowered his voice, but he kept talking. I was fine with that.........until, five minutes had passed and he was back to talking loudly. I got up once again to go over to him, he saw me and got quiet. Five more minutes passed, once again, he begain to get louder and louder. My boss said, "Just call security." I told my boss not to call security, because I thought the guy would lower his voice. He turned, saw us talking, and quieted once again. Five more minutes passed and he got loud. I got up, he looked at me and I placed my fingers over my lips. This time, dude mean mugged me, turned around, picked up his belongings and left.

    Thursday, January 31, 2008

    What's been keeping me busy

    For the past two weeks, my co-worker and I have been working on catching a couple. We were talking a while back and we compared notes. There is a couple that come here everyday(what's new,) and stay online.

    I've mentioned this before, each person is allowed 1 hr. per day, unless they are using the 15 min. express stations.

    Well, I would notice them using the computers by the staff elevator whenever I went outside. I guess they noticed me watching them, because they began switching up their routine. My co-worker said that he had noticed the same thing.

    I began tracking the guy through the library online security system. When I told him about his identification theft once, he tried to challenge me. I decided to let it go because the computer time was almost up. I waited to see if he would use a third person's I.D., but he didn't that time.

    I alerted my supervisor and he began a file on them. Yesterday was a bit of a breakthrough. I caught the female on the internet during a time when she shouldn't have been. She had hacked into the system. Since she exited the system and the floor without any problems, we just put the documentation into the folder.

    What's so funny about this whole situation is that we usually have this problem with children. We suspect that they have multiple library cards also.