Is it the WATER?????

So far today, I was only at the reference desk during the second hour of operation. We have been blessed with the patrons who talk to someone only they can see. I know that this is a serious mental problem, my paternal grandmother suffered from it.

What makes today odd, is that there is more than one person who suffers from this particular illness sitting on either side of the reference desk. On first glance, the assumption is that the person is on the telephone. The second glance causes you to examine the situation a little better, then you realize there is more than one person talking and they are not talking to each other. Sitting at the reference desk makes you feel as if you are in a wind tunnel and all of the noises are passing by you.

Add to this the odd reference questions of which you can't get a clear picture of what the patron is looking for. It takes a couple of seconds and then you realize that the patron doesn't have a clear picture of what they are looking for either. You then need to mix in the true reference questions.

I still have two more scheduled hours at the reference desk, later this afternoon. I am hoping that the climate has changed. I have a feeling that it will just be new faces, but the same type of patrons.

Only Black Folks..........

This woman came to the reference desk yesterday, to ask about using microsoft word on the internet computers. After I explained to her how she would access the program, she asked me if my hair was real. I told her that it is. She then asked, "Well, do you have tracks mixed in?" I told her no, and explained that sections are short because it has fallen out in some places. She went on to ask me if I had ever used Motions Permanent Hair Relaxer. I told her that I had, but I haven't put any type of relaxer in my hair for 9 months. I told her that I use a ceramic flat iron now. She said, "Oh, and that is enough for your hair; it leaves it looking like that." I told her that it did.

I was being real nice!!!! She stayed at the desk for 10 minutes asking me about my hair. If I had a weave, it would be much thicker than my hair. I would also have this gray covered up. I have had a track one time in my life and the glue drove me crazy. I wanted to add color to my hair without chemicals. That colored track only lasted one week in my hair.

All I could think about for the rest of the day is the nerve of black folks. I have had men pull my hair really hard when walking past me in a club. I realize that they wanted to know if it was real.

What the.......?

A patron walks up to the desk and reports that someone is smoking crack in the men's restroom. IT'S 11:00 a.m.!!! I called our onsite security to report the incident. A vanilla man had the nerve to be arguing while a security officer was escorting him out of the building. WHAT COULD HE POSSIBLY BE PROTESTING!!!! HE WAS CAUGHT, END OF STORY!!!!

I have a radar this week.......

For the mentally unstable that is. Today, a man who has approached me every morning this week made a bee line for me at the desk. He has these long obscure search request. He will get angry when everything he is looking for is on a different floor. Lucky for me, he went to a different floor first. They in turn, sent him to my floor. His quest today was for books with God-like planets as the subject. First he wanted non-fiction, then he wanted science fiction.

He returned to the desk after browsing the science fiction isles. He decided that he wanted non-fiction books once again. I got tired of him real quick. I set him up at the online catalog and proceeded to show him how to do the search himself. He tried that line, " I don't know how to do this." I wasn't buying it today. I told him, "That is why I am showing you. You can sit here and play with your search terms for as long as you'd like." Once he settled on the call number section that he wanted, my shift was up. My boss was relieving me and agreed to take over where I had left off.

The other patron who decided that I was her friend for the day, marched up to the reference desk as soon as I sat down. Now we all know that there are "golf" pencils and note paper at the reference desk. That wasn't good enough for her. She told me that she wanted a pen. I shocked her because there weren't any pens at the desk. I told her that she would have to make do with a pencil. She told me that she was going to draw.

30 minutes later, she returned to the desk. She was polite this time. "Excuse me, can I have a rubber band please. I want to put my hair in a ponytail." Once I began looking for a rubber band, she decided that she needed four. When I pulled out a hand full, she exclaimed, "That will do." I subtracted four from what I had and gave them to her. I was her new friend then. She skipped away while telling me to, "Have a nice day."

I am hoping that the special people will be gone when I return to the desk later this afternoon. Something tells me that it will just be a new batch ready for the night shift.

The nerve of some people

1 1/2 weeks ago my former boss calls me. She said that I had scheduled preschool videos for that day but the videos hadn't arrived. In the same breath, she also told me that the delivery for that day hadn't arrived yet. She then said, "I guess that I can pick out a video just in case the ones that you selected are not in the delivery."

IF SHE ANSWERED HER OWN QUESTION, WHY DID SHE CALL ME!!!!!!

My former boss calls me again today. " I am looking through the binder and I don't see a copy of your selection form for preschool videos for this coming Monday. I do see the fax cover sheet for the April and May preschool video selections. I haven't found a copy of the selection sheets. Should I call the AV Dept. and ask if they received your request? Who shoud I call?" I tell her that I don't remember the guy's name, but I wrote it down somewhere in the binder. As a matter of fact, his name is on the fax cover sheet. She ends the conversation by saying that she will definitely call AV. I tell her that she should call the department because I do remember submitting the preschool video request from April-October. Wait, "Why am I telling her anything?" This is a branch manager who has been without a children's librarian before. Surely, she doesn't expect me to complete the request from my current post.

While I am at it, why does she always begin these conversations by asking me if I like my current position and if I am happy. I am 95% better mentally. Physically, I am having some problems. I would never tell her that though. Is she asking this because she thinks that I will return to the branch? I hope that isn't the case. I truly want to give this gig a chance. I definitely don't want to go backwards.

Phony people get on my LAST NERVE!!

Thursday May 4th. When I arrived to work, I chose to charge my cell phone because it showed two bars. I hid the phone and charger, then went upstairs to drop something off. I wasn't gone 10 minutes. After having returned to my desk, I realized that the woman sitting in the cubicle adjacent mine was talking about me to another Librarian. Neither of them are black. They were discusing me charging me cell phone and the fact that they were not even aware that there is an electrical outlet in my cubicle. NOW in order for the charger and cellular telephone to be seen, someone would have to have been inside my cubicle or leaning into it from my neighbors. Either way, they were all up in my space. They went on to discuss what I have done on the floor when dealing with patrons. They ended their conversation by saying that maybe my actions should be a topic for the staff meeting on May 9th.

As they were talking about me, I began e-mailing a co-worker who sits two aisles over and the friend who works upstairs. I explained how two librarians were talking about me while I was sitting at my desk. I guess they didn't realize that I had returned to my desk. The friend who works upstairs sits next to a friend of the main woman talking about me. My friend called and suggested that we take a break outside the building and discuss the incident. My ex called on my cell phone in the middle of all this and wanted to know what was going on. I told him that I couldn't discuss it on the phone, but I would send him an e-mail. During the break, my friend told me to ignore the mess. I checked my e-mail when I returned and my ex wrote, "You already know what I have to say, F*CK THEM H**S!"

I had reference desk duty about 1/2 hour after the incident described above. I had no idea who my common cubicle wall co-worker was speaking to. The librarian scheduled to work the desk with me, immediately goes into this long speech. In her speech, she tells me that I should feel free to ask her any and everything about the material. She tells me that even if she is helping a patron, I should interrupt her and ask away. She says that she knows that the layout of the floor and the materials can sometimes be confusing. This is the most this woman has ever said to me. It also let me know who the other person was talking about me. I thought she may have been feeling a bit of guilt. I was looking at her like she was CRAZY the whole time she was talking.

30 minutes go by without me talking to this woman. She then announces, " I said all of that earlier because you might be able to answer some of my questions and help me out." I didn't even comment, I just looked at her once again like she had lost her mind. Thursdays are my Fridays, so I couldn't wait until the end of the day. Two days away from these petty women.

Sunday morning I arrive at work before the petty women. After sitting at my desk for 30 minutes; common cubicle wall woman pops over to my area, "GOOD MORNING." This is the first day of my third week, this woman has never spoken to me. I said hi, and turned my head. I couldn't get on the computer because for some reason I was unable to logon. I.T. said that my computer wasn't registered with the domain. After waiting for 45 minutes, I was able to log onto the computer and feel like maybe the day wouldn't be so bad. I tried my best to speak to the petty women as little as possible.

A brotha on the come up

Minding my own business at the ref. desk this morning. A homeless man walks up to the desk and ask me if we have any books on viagara. I, like a fool, start searching the catalog. This was all a part of his " pick-up line." He goes on to say that his girl is trying to leave him because he can't get it right. He then asks me if I would leave him if he couldn't get if right. I don't even answer the question.

Once he realized that I was not going to answer the question, he goes in for the kill. He tells me that he doesn't have a problem, but he is trying to get my number. I still don't answer, but I show him that there are some books on viagra in the catalog. I tell him it's no joke, we do have some literature.

He's sticking to his line. He asks me if I am married, I don't answer. He tells me that he doesn't see a ring, and asks me if I have one. I tell him that I do have a ring. He asks why I don't have it on, I tell him that it is at my desk. He asks how long I have been married and I tell him almost three years. He then asks me if I would leave my husband for him. I don't even answer, I just look at him like n**a please!!! He stinks and has on dirty clothes. He sees the way in which I am looking at him. He proclaims that he is not homeless, his coat is dirty, but he is in school (Big Rig Driving.)

He tells me that he will be clocking 10k a month once he finishes school, 8k after taxes. He asks if my man is bringing it in like that , I tell him no. He asks me again if I would leave my man for him because he will be able to pay my rent. I told him that as long as he is paying his rent, that is the only thing he should be worried about.

He has green eyes and I guess he was fantasizing about back in the day when he was able to pull any chick he desired. I am not the one. I am not trying to help anyone else get back where they feel they should be.

You can never truly leave the children

The library opened at 9:00 a.m. today. I wasn't scheduled to work the reference desk until 10:00 a.m. When I arrived at the desk, I discovered that there were two high school classes visiting our floor today. Luckily for me, we are scheduled to work the reference desk in one hour increments.
When helping someone in a group; once you have helped one person locate what they are looking for, the news spreads like wildfire. I helped one young woman almost as soon as I arrived at the reference desk. For the duration of the hour, I was helping others in her group. She was looking for a biography of Martin Luther King Jr. Another student wanted the Autobiography of Malcolm X. One young man wanted art books, which aren't on our floor and I had a hard time convincing him of this. It didn't matter that he had been walking the floor for 15 minutes before he finally asked where he could find the book he was looking for. The next to the last search question was the kicker for me.

The young woman said that she was embarrassed to ask for my help. She said that she had been looking for the book and wasn't having any luck in locating it. She gave me a sheet of paper with just the call number. I checked the online catalog, to make sure the book was actually on the shelf. The title surprised me, "Lesbian sex scandals." I think that she was more embarrassed by the title than by not being able to find the book. She went on to tell me that she would hit herself if I found the book. I found the book and told her that I was waiting for her to hit herself. She did hit herself. She was accompanied by her girlfriend the whole time. After retrieving the book, they sat down to read it.

The students were supposed to find a book for their research paper during their visit. I learned from other students that they were given a list of choices for their topics. I am sure that lesbian sex was not on the list.

They were running, laughing, talking loudly, yelling, and eating. They were also more concerned with their access to the internet, than they were with finding a book.

Brown spots in a sea of white

I haven't worked in this area of town since January 2000. Today I was reminded of how corny some people can be. As I stood in line, waiting to order a sandwich; the conversation of the couple behind me was sickening.

She went on and on about how bad her day was going, what a terrible boss she has, she's stuck wearing a turtleneck sweater on a warm sunny day. The worst, " Oh Baby, my day just got so much better when I saw your face." His reply, " I know, you sounded so down on the telephone and now you sound so much better."

While searching the stack for a book, a gentleman approached me as he exited the men's restroom. I really wasn't paying him any attention, because I was frantically searching for a book while the patron was on hold. As he zips his pants, he tells me how nice it is too see a sister at the reference desk. He said that it is always a bunch of other people and he was glad that I was there. I looked him in the eye and said that they were a few of us sprinkled here and there.

The new location

I started at the new location yesterday. So far, it is similar to my days as a commutiy college reference librarian. I really like the three hours of reference work per day. By the time you've started to tire of the internet/computer questions, it's time for someone else to takeover the desk.

I have a cubicle again. I haven't had one of these since the late 1980's. You know I am old!! Do you remember the touch tone telephones that resembeled the rotary ones? Well, I have one of those on my desk. No more caller i.d., I know I will miss that a lot. I will have to find some way get one from the I.T. department. After being exposed to caller i.d. at work, I don't know how I will live without it.

This is it y'all

I attended my last monthly meeting of the children's librarians. It felt good, knowing that I won't be required to attend them anymore. I don't hate them, it's just that they last so long. I will still be required to attend monthly meetings in my new post. I hope they don't last half as long as the one for children's librarians.

I start my new job this Sunday. I am sure that I will catch up on my days off some time. This month, there have been weeks when I didn't have a day off. There have been weeks where I only had one day off.

The day has been running smooth so far. Then again, school is still in session. We are fast approaching 3:00 p.m. and I am sure that the race will be on. They burst in here trying to see who will reach the computer first.

Don't you just hate nicety people

This woman was in here on the prowl for people to sign her petition. I am guessing that she gets paid by the amount of signitures she receives per day. As I passed her on my way to the restroom, she asked me to sign her petition. I simply said, " I don't sign petitions."

This is the same woman who was rolling her eyes at me last week. She came in here Thursday to use the computer. It being Spring Break, they were full with teenagers. She saunters over to my section and asks, "If this section is only for children, why is it empty and they're all on the adult side?" I told her that the age limit over here is 12 years of age and those boys that she is calling children are actually 13 or older. She made that sucking noise and walked away. For the duration of her time in the library, she rolled her eyes at me each time she saw me. It continued on Friday. Of course she arrived after the teenagers, so she was mad once again. She proceeded to roll her eyes at me for the second day. I didn't pay her any attention.

I know she thought that I was just being mean today. She had the nerve to be smilling in my face as she asked me to sign her petition. This is the same woman who sends her BAAD TWIN GRANDSONS here when they have gotten on her last nerve at home. WHAT MAKES HER THINK WE WANT TO BE BOTHERED WITH 2 MORE BAAD CHILDREN?????

She tells them they have to call to find out if it is okay for them to return home.

Here we go

My boss is back from her vacation today. It's already started. She announced to me at 10:20 this morning that she will be leaving at 1:00 p.m. The pretext is that she is going to some church to look at their library. She said, " You can either take your lunch earlier or later." I normally take my lunch in between 1:00 and 1:30 p.m. So earlier means before noon and I don't know what later means because she didn't say what time she would return. You know this means there is a possibility that she will be gone for the rest of the day.

My last scheduled preschool storytime was today at 10:30 a.m. The sun is out and it's kind of warm. It was a no show. Then, at 10:50 a.m., my sister's neighbor showed up. She has a daycare and she brought two children. I read them two books and talked with them for a while.

THREE MORE DAYS AFTER THIS ONE IS OVER!

The countdown has begun

4 more days to go. This moring as I waited for the Tech to open the security gate, I was approached by a woman. She introduced herself as Sister something, I don't remember. She went on to tell me that she was sent by God to spread his word. She asked me if I had repented. That was all she needed to say. I started making my way to the security gate before she finished her last sentence. I thanked her for sharing and kept it moving. If I am not trying to hear the Jehovah's Witnesses who stand outside the library everyday, you know that I was not trying to hear what she had to say.

There is a man who comes in here periodically. All he does is sit in front of the library catalog. We can guess that he is searching for books, but we don't know for sure. He asks each time he enters the library if that is the only catalog that we have. We all know that he knows that there is only one online catalog up in here. Today, I was given a full whif of his lovely essence. He walked all the way over to my desk to retrieve a piece of scratch paper. Regardless of the fact that he passed at least two other scratch paper dispensers that are full. CAN YOU SMELL CIGARETTES, ALCOHOL, AND JUST PLAIN OLD FUNK. He looks old, but with all that facial hair you can never tell. His hair and beard are so long that they look as if they have grown together.

This keeps popping in my head

A patron called Tuesday morning. The telephone rang as soon as we opened the door to the public. The patron asks "What time does the branch open?" I answer, " 10:00 a.m." The patron then asks what time the main library opens and the closing time. I tell him that it opened at 9:00 a.m. and it closes at 8:00 p.m. The patron then asks me why our libraries open so late in the morning. I explain to the patron that this is a public library. The patron goes on to tell me that he is on Spring Break and needs to do some work at the library, but he wants to do it earlier in the morning.

I explained that university and community college libraries usually open a bit earlier than public libraries. It seems as if we can never do enough.

Seeing things

Yesterday, a woman came into the branch wearing a shower cap. I know you remember people wearing those things supposedly to preserve their Jerri Curls. Well, I chalked that sighting up to the rain.

Lo and behold, there was another sighting while walking to work today. There was a man working on his van about two blocks from here. When he emerged from under the hood, why did he have on a pink shower cap. It is bad enough that he had on a shower cap, but a PINK one.

I have officially become a computer police officer. Spring Break has turned me into this. Monday near closing, I found a boy that I suspected of hacking into the system. It was too late in the day to conduct the required research to prove it.
Yesterday, I found a family of violators. I am sure that they have been getting away with this for a while. When my boss is here, I don't worry about the adult section or the adult computers. Well, they had been sitting a bit too long at the computer terminals and the adults were getting restless.

I went into the computer administration program and discovered that they used up their alloted 1 hour. They had begun using the library card numbers of family members to gain more computer time. This is considered identity theft by the Library Administration (I know, I sound like a nerd for real.) This causes problems with other patrons because you have a group of teenagers hogging the adult terminals. They are too old for the children's computers, but adults see them as children.

I STOPPED THE MESS AT THE DOOR TODAY. The group of boys arrived at 1:00 p.m. when we opened. As soon as they entered, I told them that they could only use their library card numbers for internet access. I also told them that if I caught them using anyone else's library card number, they would be banned from computer usage throughout the library system. They were gone before 2:30 p.m.

Seeing things

Yesterday, a woman came into the branch wearing a shower cap. I know you remember people wearing those things supposedly to preserve their Jerri Curls. Well, I chalked that sighting up to the rain.

Lo and behold, there was another sighting while walking to work today. There was a man working on his van about two blocks from here. When he emerged from under the hood, why did he have on a pink shower cap. It is bad enough that he had on a shower cap, but a PINK one.

I have officially become a computer police officer. Spring Break has turned me into this. Monday near closing, I found a boy that I suspected of hacking into the system. It was too late in the day to conduct the required research to prove it.
Yesterday, I found a family of violators. I am sure that they have been getting away with this for a while. When my boss is here, I don't worry about the adult section or the adult computers. Well, they had been sitting a bit too long at the computer terminals and the adults were getting restless.

I went into the computer administration program and discovered that they used up their alloted 1 hour. They had begun using the library card numbers of family members to gain more computer time. This is considered identity theft by the Library Administration (I know, I sound like a nerd for real.) This causes problems with other patrons because you have a group of teenagers hogging the adult terminals. They are too old for the children's computers, but adults see them as children.

I STOPPED THE MESS AT THE DOOR TODAY. The group of boys arrived at 1:00 p.m. when we opened. As soon as they entered, I told them that they could only use their library card numbers for internet access. I also told them that if I caught them using anyone else's library card number, they would be banned from computer usage throughout the library system. They were gone before 2:30 p.m.

Rainy Days

I love rainy days. I really enjoy them when I am able to lounge in bed. I prefer a good storm over this light rain that we are currently experiencing. I really love waking up on Tuesdays and it's raining. This means that maybe, just maybe, there won't be an audience for storytime. If I haven't mentioned it before, I HATE STORYTIME. I hate reading picture stories and I hate singing the songs that go with them.

Now you know a little rain didn't stop the MYSPACE faithfuls. They were at the door waiting for us to open at 10:00 a.m. And you thought SPRING BREAK was going to hold them back. That is a horrible addiction. The computer would not be the reason I left my warm bed on a rainy day.

I had to kick a CRAZY woman out of the branch this morning. I told her about eating in the library yesterday. As I finished helping a patron, I noticed her happily eating her chips in the adult section. Today, she decided to sit in the Teen Section, which is in a secluded corner. Once again, I heard her munching on some chips as I was walking by. This time, I told her that she would have to leave. She had the NERVE to ask me why. I told her that since I informed her of the policy yesterday and she decided to violate it today, she would have to leave. Another patron went on to tell me that the same CRAZY woman had entered the library CURSING like a sailor.
I HAVE A LITTLE OVER A WEEK TO GO!!!!!!

Do you ever wonder about alcohol?

As I was opening the gate this morning, an old alcoholic asked me what time we opened. I told him 1:oo p.m., and he proceeded to tell me that I was looking good this morning. He had on his flip flops and was on his way to the liquor store(it was about 9:10 a.m.) I failed to mention that there are two liquor stores within walking distance of the library. One is on the same side of the street, and the other is across the street. *** Yes, he did have on white tube socks with the flip flops***

When I went out to get my lunch, I noticed that there were two empty liquor bottles in paper bags surrounding the lamp post directly in front of the library. My co-worker said, " Now, you know you are in the ghetto when you see the liquor bottles in paper bags placed standing up on the street."

MY LEAST FAVORITE QUESTION OF ALL TIME************

Do you work here? You walk up to my desk, where I am sitting typing on the computer, there is a telephone and various information for the public. Do you think that I am here for my health? How many grown folks sit in the children's area alone, at a desk with a computer and a telephone?

I told him, "No." He then said, " Oh you don't?" In response, I told him that I did work here. He went on to tell me that he wanted to get on www.craigslist.com. I told him that he was welcome to get on the internet, all he needed was a library card. He told me that he didn't have a library card and asked what he needed to do to get one. I explained that he needed to fill out an application. He took an application and told me that he would come back later. All I said was, " You do that." My responses may have been wrong, but I am tired of stupid questions. I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS, THERE ARE SOME STUPID QUESTIONS!

Wow, it's been a while

I didn't realize that it had been so long since I entered a post. We were informed that the police finally picked up that BAAD child. The woman who gave us the news gave the impression that she sought our sympathy. She said, "They finally arrested him and he's in the Juvenile Detention Center." We know good and well where they send the "Billy Bad A$$es" of the world.

Why would she expect us to feel sympathy for the "care givers" of a boy who was allowed to run wild in the streets. They were informed of his misdeeds and he was not punished. Community members were fed up and finally reported his actions to the police.

Other than that, it has been a pretty normal day. My boss was 30 minutes late. Her excuse was her meeting at the main library this morning. Those meetings only last 1 1/2 hours, but she doesn't know that we know that. That's okay, when management calls looking for her, we tell them exactly what she told us.

We all know the Bay Area doesn't get that cold. Definitely not cold enough to wear a bomber hat. There had been one guy in his early twenties walking around in a leather bomber hat with rabbit fur lining. I have seen him sporting the hat since mid January. Rain, sun, hot, or cold, he can be seen sporting that hat. I chalked it up to him being weird. Today, a different guy comes in sporting an all white rabbit fur bomber hat, t-shirt and sweatpants. The current temperature is 57 degrees. I guess walking around the neighborhood in the same thing for a few months will make someone think that it's the thing to do/have.