Out of the mouths of librarians

Staff meeting: While waiting for the meeting to begin, somehow the conversation turned to how
expensive hair cuts are.

Pt. Librarian, "Well, I cut my own hair and I guess that I've saved hundreds of
dollars over time." [we now know why she rocks a bad high top
fade with a duck tail]

Monthly services meeting: I was showing a fellow librarian a delightful find, Band Aid's Blister
Block. She commented that she has a hard time finding wide shoes.

Another librarian blurted, "That's why I shop at Pay*ess, they have
wide shoes in all kinds of styles."

The conversation paused......then we changed the subject.

This morning, my first hour on the reference desk. My co-worker annouces as she approached the desk, "I'm still HIGH from yesterday!" [She called in sick yesterday, saying that she was going to the emergency room to receive a morphine shot for her migraine.]

So this is how it ends today

It is my last hour on the reference desk and I have spent it listening to a patron read the World Atlas out loud. I have wanted to say something, but I realize that may be the only way that he is able to read.

Man..............these people

So, I am sitting at the reference desk minding my own business, reading somebody's blog.

A patron marched up to the desk, threw a book at me and said,"I HOPE THIS LIBRARY HAS A CHRISTIANS FOR DUMMIES book, or a PROTESTANT FOR DUMMIES book, because just having an ISLAM FOR DUMMIES book isn't right.

I respond,"I'm sure we do sir, would you like for me to check?"

Patron: "YEAH, YOU MAKE SURE THAT YOU CHECK THAT OUT!!!! IT WOULD NOT BE RIGHT IF THERE IS ONLY A 'ISLAM FOR DUMMIES' BOOK"

So as I began to search the online catalog, the fool stormed off.

Yesterday afternoon, this woman yelled at me because HER book wasn't on the shelf. As if I personally walked over and removed her book form the shelf, just so she wouldn't have the pleasure of walking in here and seeing her work on the shelf.

I went through the trouble of searching high and low for that book. I finally found in on a book truck in the back, waiting to be reshelved. I took the book to her and handed it to her. The witch had the nerve to tell me, " I didn't want the book, I just wanted to make sure that it was here! Why are you giving it to me, do you want me to reshelve it?"

She went on to say that when she came in the day before, they told her it was missing. She said that she located the book on the shelf and removed it, so that she could show them( the page desk staff) that it was still in the library. Hence the reason why the book was sitting on a book truck in the back waiting to be reshelved.

That is the point where my supervisor took over. He told the patron that she was wrong for yelling at me and it would not be tolerated.

Random stories for today

This morning, in the span of 10 minutes I was told this by two different patrons.

1. African American female in her late forties: " Sharon and Bob stole my credit card information from one of the branch libraries and were buying sex with it. You know you can't buy sex in Antioch"

I couldn't respond, I was laughing so hard.

2. Anglo male was having trouble booking a computer at one of the branch libraries. I told him
log out of his record and I would help him book a computer at the reference desk. As I am
helping him, he said, " All of the staff at the branch library are CRAZY!" This was right after
he told me that while he was speaking to some police officers, they told him he was crazy
because his face was swollen.

I turned to my co-worker and asked him, "What is it that I am doing because they just keep
approaching me?"

Cravings can sometimes get the best of us

This afternoon, I felt the urge for a piece of chocolate. I was too lazy to ride the public transportation so that I could get See's Candy, Godiva, or Tom's Cookies. I decided to walk to Walgreen's and kill two birds with one stone, pick up a gallon of water and some chocolate.

As I was walking toward the corner, I noticed men dressed in black leather. I forgot the Folsem Street Fair is this weekend. Well, I received an eye full. Leather vest, chaps, and g-string. Just what I needed for an afternoon wake-up call. I was so upset with myself because had I remembered what this weekend is, I would have stayed inside. I now know why parking was kind of tight this morning.

My July end notes for this week

Today will mark the second loss for my department. Two weeks ago one of the four supervisors retired. Today, the supervisor who just came back from Medical Leave is retiring. No announcement, no group e-mail, no cake, cookies, or juice. I don't even think he will get a formal goodbye.

On to my reference desk story.

I caught the usual juvenile suspects trying to hack into the system via the online catalog and database terminals.

Next up

Ghetto Love, they parked themselves at the online catalog next to the reference desk. I wouldn't have noticed, but they began fighting over some red juice. I informed them that the drink wasn't allowed in the library.

Ol' chicky decided that she wanted to get smart. "I'm pregnant, so I need this and proceeds to pop the top and chug."

My reply whispered in her ear because I didn't want to put her on blast, " Then you need to go to the lower level to the restaurant and have that drink!"

Not fifteen minutes later.

I hear Ghetto Love arguing with an anglo patron who had asked them to lower their voices. They went on and on, telling him where and how he could stick it. I sensed that he was heading to the reference desk to request back-up because they were LOUD.

I called security. Why is it that they came two deep. When we really need security because things are looking dangerous, they send one lone ragged guard.

Security's response, " They are on the catalogs and they are arguing????" I relayed the incident to them. They spoke to Ghetto Love, who returned to their post at the catalog afterward. Soon afterward, the anglo departed.

Here we go folks my library stab at the tag

Minoority Reporter didn't really tag me, but she listed my blog as one of the ones that she reads. So in honor of her, I am going to take a stab at answering this tag. My twist will be that I will try to apply my answers to the library.

The Rules

1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of you blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

Here we go: 8 Things you don't know about me.

1. I made my decision to obtain a Masters in Library Science during my first day of on the job
training for the Department of Human Services Non-Assistance Food Stamp Eligibility Worker.

2. I received my MLS in 1998 from Clark Atlanta University.

3. I worked part-time as a librarian for 5 years before finally taking a full-time gig.

4. This blog was started as a way to vent. Working as a Children's librarian is no joke.

5. I work with a lot of bitter, selfish librarians! ( I had a friend say that she thought all
librarians were giving and helpful---NOT)

6. I chose to become a librarian because I found myself always talking to random people
about books and what they should read (I am always reading for pleasure and nosy people
are always asking me about what I am reading)

7. Some days, I don't want to be bothered with most of my co-workers.

8. I am constantly looking for another job.

Half of the people I wanted to tag have already been hit.

Can you imagine work without the access to a computer? That is what my days now consist of. During the time that I am on the reference desk, I have access to a computer. All that behind the scenes actual work and internet surfing, that is a thing of the past, at least for the next two weeks.



30 people are supposed to share four terminals. They forgot to factor in the hogs. The staff members who think the computers are there for them and only them.

People don't listen

I hate when you take the time to explain to someone exactly what they need to do. They then come back to you, saying there is a problem. You go over with them what they needed to do and they turn around and tell you that you didn't tell them that is what they needed to do.

When I turned around and explained exactly what I said word for word, chic go an attitude. She couldn't say that I was wrong, so she told me that my breath stank. I just had two altoids, so I knew that she was lying.

Medical Leave

A supervisor in my department returned to work yesterday, after 1 month of medical leave. Somehow, he now has a new work schedule that begins at noon. When the said supervisor arrived at work and saw that he was scheduled to work the reference desk for three hours, he had a fit. He called the head of the library and proclaimed that he was not supposed to work the reference desk.

Meanwhile, this department has been stressed during his one month leave because we are also short two additional positions.

So as a result of his rant, the five of us who were here, were forced to work an extra hour on the reference desk.

Yesterday the head of our department was out sick. Today, the big boss is here and ol' boy is as quiet as a mouse.

I left work frustrated. We had behind the scenes mess, in addition to the regular drama we get from the patrons.

I understand workplace violence

I really, really do.

Patron via telephone: "Yeah, I want to know how to pronounce a word.
pareidolia"
I put the patron on hold and looked it up in the Oxford English Dictionary, it wasn't there. I looked in the online database, it wasn't there. I searched www.dictionary.com, it wasn't there. Dictionary.com did refer me to their encyclopedia.

I told the patron that I didn't find it in any of the dictionary.

The patron said, "You can't find it on the internet?"

I looked at the online encyclopedia. So I tell the patron what I think the pronunciation is. He proceeds to tell me exactly what the encyclopedia entry says and then wants to debate my interpretation. I gave the call to my co-worker(who ended up siding with me.)

I REALLY WANTED TO PULL THAT MAN THROUGH THE TELEPHONE!!!!!

My funny story for the day

I don't know about you, but I hate when I return to work after a few days off and find something on my desk.

When it's mail, I think, "Now what did they send now!" Because most of the time the branches
will send a book or books that they want to discard. They don't want it in their collection anymore, but feel that it is needed here.

I also receive stacks of books that the clerk has been stock piling on her desk. She waits for my off days to deposit the books on my desk. I guess she is afraid that I will complain. I would prefer that she give me the books as they are given to her, but I think it is a little too late to change habits. I get the books that fall in my selection area that have been damaged in some way.

Today's mail waiting for me: A galley copy of America Needs A Woman President by Brett Bevell. I am used to seeing a bound galley copy. This copy is loose pages held together by a paperclip. They have also advised that the book is available for pre-order on www.amazon.com.

Brett Bevell sent the copy himself, why am I not surprised!!!!!

Of all days, I fail to wear the "ring."

I have a QVC Diamonique and Yellow Gold Wedding Set that I wear while at work. The need for this arose when I first began my career as a librarian. In the community college libraries, young men from 18-32 would make passes, ask me out, etc.

I began wearing a 2 carat engagement ring. When I began working full-time in the public library, I purchased the wedding set. It is a 3 carat solitare with a 1/2 carat of surrounding bagets, and a 1 carat band.

I forgot to wear it ALL DAY today. No problems, until the last hour on the desk. A man who has made passes in the past decided to try a full court press today. He was drunk and you know alcohol brings out the truth, courage, or whatever you want to call it.

He says, "You're married huh!!"

Me, "Yes."

Him, "You lie, where's your ring."

Me, "I left it in the back."

Him, "Tell your husband that I said he is a lucky man, so he won't get mad at me for making a
pass at you."

Me, " I will, as soon as I return to my desk."

Him, "I am really attracted to you because you are real. You are the type of woman that I need. You know I have money."

Me, " What did you do today?"

He continued to tell me how much he is attracted to me. Finally, I tell him, "You still haven't
answered the question that I asked you."

Him, "What did you ask me?"

So, I asked him again.

He says, " I have been drinking."

I respond, " I know."

He asks, "How did you know?"

I tell him, " I can smell it on your breath."

Him, "That is embarrassing."

Yeah, I know...............................

It's day two of the computer shut down on one half of the floor. There are signs posted on every terminal, both internet and online catalog. The signs say that there will be a telephone and computer connection upgrade and this computer is not in service at this time.

It in addition to that sign posted on each and every terminal that isn't in service, there is a sign written in red posted at the reference desk. The sign says the following:

For all internet and online catalog use, please go to the
International side of this floor. You may also go to the
4th or 5th floors.

I was at that desk for two hours yesterday. I watched patrons read the signs and approach me to ask, " So, is there an internet computer on this side of the room that I can use?"


Today's FUNNY: I watched a man with an Orange shirt and jeans exit the elevator and read the signs. His blue jeans were made into flare legs because orange and yellow striped triangles had been inserted into the lower portion of each leg.

There is a display of work done by an openly gay artist on display in front of the reference desk. The man described above saunters over to the display, reads it, and states to no one in particular, " Is this a GAY THING? Why is EVERYTHING gay up in here?"

Library excitement

My first hour at the reference desk. 1/2 hour into the shift. One of the pages runs to the reference desk and tells us to call security. A man was standing at the copy machine destroying books, not 1,2, or 3, but he had a stack of about 30-35 and he was riping them apart.

My co-worker went over there because I had just answered a telephone call. He yelled, " Call the police because I want to go to jail. I want to go back to rehab."

When the security officer arrived, the man yelled, "ARE YOU GOING TO CALL THE REAL POLICE NOW?"

Dude told me that I couldn't make him leave

The patron told me," You can't tell me to leave, only security can tell me to leave."

At that point, I realized the man is ignorant and I wasn't going to bother explaining the rules and regulations of the library to him.

1. Any staff member can request that a patron leave if they are violating the rules and regulations. If they fail to leave, we are then required to call security and have them escorted out of the building.

It all started when I tried to explain to the patron why he couldn't use the terminal he had selected. Someone prior to him had logged onto the computer and left for whatever reasons. Another patron came along and put the terminal on standby. This means that for ten minutes, the only person allowed to log onto the computer is the one who signed on initially.

Dude proceeded to argue me down. When I returned to the reference desk, HE SHUT THE COMPUTER DOWN. So what he was doing is saying F**k you, I am doing what I want.

At that point, I returned to the patron and said, " Because you chose to disregard what I said and shut down the computer, you must leave!" I said it twice. He then gave me the statement that began this entry.

It just so happend that one of the security guards had just gotten off the elevator. I worked with her in another department in this city. She is well aware of how tolerant I am.

I said, " I NOW WANT HIM TO LEAVE BECAUSE HE CHOSE TO CHALLENGE ME!"

3rd Floor Carpet Installation Day 4

That's right, so far the carpet removal/installation has taken 4 days and only 1/4 of the floor has been completed.

Today, they began moving the computer terminals, tables, and chairs on the side of the floor on which I work. I have watched people sit down in front of terminals that have been moved away from the usual position. They aren't plugged-in and the chairs have been moved away from the tables. These people have pulled chairs up to these terminal and proceeded to examine the terminals to find out why they won't turn on.

For the past month, there has been a posting on the library homepage regarding the new carpet installation. The dates were posted. The questions I received (my first time on the desk today was 3:00 p.m.)

"Why don't the computers work?"

"What are they doing again?"

"Do you know if the computers will be working tomorrow?"

"Why don't they put signs on the computers?"

"They haven't finished yet?"

Rising temperatures brings out the unusual

This marks the third day where the noon day temperature is above 70 degrees. Sitting at the reference desk, I marvel at the creative ways in which a people accustomed to fog and wind adjust to the heat.

The ways in which they have chosen to expose their flesh. Some things, I wish that I hadn't seen.

It rained last week and it is obvious which individuals couldn't wait to break out the linen and sandals.

I have seen feet that should never be exposed! I mean, neva eva, eva!

New Rules & Guidelines effective May 1, 2007

Some are new and some aren't but a few of them stood out in my mind when I browsed the list.

Want to know which ones? Well, even if you don't, I am going to share them.


Uniform Staff Procedures for Enforcement of the Guidelines of Library Use and
other Library rules


TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF ALL USERS:


4. Persons under the influence of alcohol or non-prescribed drugs are not allowed on Library
property.

Now any and everyone who has ever visited a public library knows that the majority
of our patrons fall into this category. ***The most that will ever be given for violation is a
7-day suspension.

8. Animals, other than service animals assisting persons with disabilities, are not permitted
inside Library facilities or within 10 feet of any door.

Everyone and their Momma brings their dog up in here. They will claim in a minute that
it is a companion dog. You see anything from a pitbul to a lab.

11. Sleeping or lying on the floor or furniture is prohibited.

You can take a stroll around this floor any given time of the day and catch a few people
sleeping.

18. Unreasonable use of rest rooms, including laundering and bathing [smoking, soliticiting,
clogging drains and brushing teeth.]

We receive complaints daily regarding this.

20. Harassing or threatening Library users or staff.
20a. Harassing or threatening staff or patron:
Maximum punishment is a 12-month suspension.

There is a total of 32 guidelines. I have listed just a few that stand out. I also wonder how well enforcement will go. Most of these guidelines are already listed in the rules and regulations portion of our website and the library application packet.

Original Fashion Statement

As seen in the library today April 17, 2007. Do you tire of carrying your Chihuahua? Why not place your pouch in a stroller. Not a doll stroller, but one meant for human babies!!!!

That is the new trend set by one patron.